The Never Ending Escape Route
by bann
Summary: Part Two of the Escape Route series. Our three heroines find that once again Atlantis is in need of their special talents to avert a crisis that threatens four of their own.
1. Chapter 1

Authors' Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. If you haven't read the first part ("Why to Always Have an Escape Route") we highly suggest you do. If you refuse to read the first part, we applaud your stubbornness and suggest you be ready for some confusion on your part. This story picks up exactly where the previous left off. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

**The Never-Ending Escape Route**  
Chapter One

(A few minutes later…)

Mitchell: (Walks back into room) That was Landry. He wants us back at the base now.

(Taylor and Jessie share a look before glancing at Mary)

Mary: Well, here we go again.

(Back at the SGC, in the elevator, a little cramped.)

Mitchell: Any bets as to what it is this time?

Sheppard: If it's Kolya again... (Getting upset)

Taylor: (quickly) It's a muffin!

(Silence)

Mitchell: A muffin?

Mary: A giant, deadly, man-eating muffin.

Jessie: On a rampage.

Teal'c: In Nevada.

(Silence as everyone swivels to look at Teal'c, who raises an eyebrow.)

Jack: Right. Just where a giant muffin should be.

(The elevator doors open)

Sam: (surprised) Sir!

Jack: Hmm?

Mini Jack: She was talking to me.

Jack: Ah. Jack.

Mini Jack: Jack.

Sheppard: (quietly to Mitchell) Did I miss something?

Mitchell: (quietly as well) I'll tell you later.

(The elevator empties, and Mini Jack sees Jessie.)

Mini Jack: Um.

Jessie: Hmm?

Mini Jack: Care to get what they pass for coffee in the mess?

Jessie: (looks to Taylor for permission) Uh, sure.

(Almost everyone stares after the two.)

Jack: Come on people. We've got a briefing to get to.

Sheppard: Now I know I missed something.

Taylor: That was Mini Jack.

Jack: Must you persist in calling him that?

Mary: Yes.

Sheppard: I'm still...

Taylor: Confused? Yeah. Don't worry about it. (She smiles sweetly at him.) An evil Asguard tried to clone Jack once.

Sam: Only the other Asguard had already placed a DNA marker in General O'Neill to prevent such things from happening and well...

Taylor: Mini Jack was the result.

Mitchell: As to why he asked Jessie to go with him, even I'm not sure.

Daniel: I think it's kind of obvious.

Jack: What I want to know is why he was even here. (They arrive in the briefing room.)

Landry: I assume you mean your clone? Dr. Lam was checking him to make sure he wasn't suffering any ill side effects of the cloning. Apparently, the Pentagon has been very insistent that he be kept in good health. He's got a scholarship to the Air Force Academy you know.

Jack: I did not. (He has a look that convinces no one of this fact)

Sam: Sir? Did you...

Jack: Do what?

Landry: Now is not the time, people. I hate to call you all in on your time off, but we received a message from Atlantis. It seems that Dr. Weir is having a problem.

Shep: Is it Kolya? The bastard. Didn't even leave for a day and already he-

Landry: Easy. It's not Kolya. Seems a Major Lorne was out with his team when the Genii hit Atlantis, right?

Shep: (feeling that as the only member of the Atlantis crew present, he should say something.) Uh, yes sir.

Landry: Dr. Weir reported that when she tried to contact Major Lorne and his team that the locals reported them missing. And it seems that the wraith have a hand in this as well. She's requesting you return, and she also mentioned that the young ladies would prove useful as well...where, may I ask, is the third young lady?

(Jack coughs self consciously.)

Mary: She's having some coffee at the moment. We'll grab her before we leave. Don't worry. We didn't forget her.

Landry: (smiling) Good. I expect you to be ready to leave within the half hour.

Sam: No problem sir.

Landry: Oh. Not you. Sorry. I have another project for you, Dr. Jackson, and Teal'c. We've got word about a possible Ori-

Mitchell: What about me sir?

Landry: Well, we're not having our young ladies tromp about the universe alone are we?

Sheppard: I would be going sir.

Landry: True, and if Colonel Mitchell isn't needed then he can come on home. However, I did gather that Dr. Weir wouldn't mind a few stowaways. Any questions? Dismissed.

(They all head out of the room.)

Mary: So...clothes right? We need to change clothes?

Mitchell: Yeah, you guys still have the field clothes you got the first time you were here don't you?

Taylor: I'd rather just wear this, thanks.

Sheppard: Taylor, you at least need a vest.

Taylor: Fine, I'll wear one of the vests.

Mary: Taylor you should go get Jessie. (Taylor nods)

Taylor: We'll meet you in the gate room. (She starts off down the hallway)

Sheppard: Make her at least wear a vest, too!

(She waves over her shoulder in acknowledgement. Mary gives Sheppard an appraising look. They head off in separate directions to get changed.)

* * *

(29 Minutes and 15 seconds later…Sheppard, Mitchell, and Mary are standing in front of an active gate waiting for the other two.)

Mitchell: Where are they? They're late.

Mary: Actually they won't be late for another 30 seconds.

Sheppard: You think they'll show up in the next thirty seconds?

Mary: 21, 20, 19, 18...

Mitchell: Look. They're going to be late. One of us should have gone with Taylor to get Jessie.

Mary: 12, 11, 10, 9...

Sheppard: Mary...?

Mary: 7, 6, 5...

(At four, a streak with blonde hair phases through the door and runs up the ramp to hide behind Sheppard, giggling madly)

Taylor: Save me!

Mary: 2, 1... (Jessie skids through now open door)

(Mary gives the two men and I-Told-You-So look)

Mitchell: Uh...right. Can we get a move on?

Jessie: Yep!

(Mary hands both Jessie and Taylor packs with changes of clothes, water bottles, etc. and a vest each.)

Taylor: But Mary...

Mary: (giggles) Shoo!

(Taylor and Jessie slouch up the ramp through the wormhole. Mary, still giggling quietly, follows, as do the two men.)

Landry: (from the control room) And to think. They've already saved a city.

Walter: Yes sir.

(Jack, also in the control room, just smiles.)

* * *

(In Atlantis, the five exit the wormhole.)

Elizabeth: Welcome back.

Jessie: You did tell us we were welcome back anytime.

Elizabeth: Indeed, but I fear this isn't the best of ways to greet you again. Let's go to my office. I'll fill you in.

Taylor: (glancing around happily) Good occasion or not... I'm glad to be back.

Jessie: Am I going to have to push you through the 'Gate again to get you to leave?

Taylor: Mary pushed me, which I'm still extremely upset about by the way.

Sheppard: Well, now you're back so...Does it really matter?

Taylor: No, but I'll be getting my revenge all the same.

Mitchell: Why?

Jessie: Because.

(Taylor laughs slightly)

(They walk into Weir's office where Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney already sit.)

Rodney: (noticing the girls) Oh, God.

Teyla: Welcome back. All of you.

Mary: Thank you.

Ronon: Hi.

Jessie: (sitting as close as possible to Ronon) Hi.

Ronon: (a little unsettled but not reacting much) So what is going on exactly?

Elizabeth: Before the Genii attacked Atlantis, (here a growl was heard, but everyone ignores it) Major Lorne and his team were sent to Keden with some medicine. We tried contacting Major Lorne and his team, and when they didn't respond we sent a MALP. Kiare, the village chieftain, fortunately had survived and told us through the MALP-

Sheppard: Survived??

Elizabeth: Yes. Kiare told us that while Major Lorne and his team were delivering the supplies, the wraith attacked. A culling it seems, as the MALP showed. Major Lorne and his team fought and survived the attack, but Kiare and some of the other Kedenians reported seeing them taken hostages by the Wraith.

Mitchell: How long ago was this?

Elizabeth: Fortunately only hours before we attempted contact.

Sheppard: So we get them back.

McKay: Sorry, but why are the girls here?

(Sheppard, Mitchell, and Teyla all give Rodney a look, and all for different reasons.)

Elizabeth: Their gifts would seem to be an advantage, especially when the mission calls for being somewhat secretive.

Jessie: Right. Somewhat secretive.

Taylor: Hush.

Ronon: When do we leave?

Elizabeth: Within the hour, if you're ready? (She looks at the girls, who all nod.)

Elizabeth: Good. Take a team of marines with you. We don't leave our men behind.

(All get up and leave the room.)

* * *

Sheppard: I'll go get SGA 5, they can be our marines.

Teyla: Very well, we'll go change and meet you back here.

Jessie: We can just wait here. In the control room. With the buttons. (At that everyone gets a rather worried look. Taylor grabs Jessie's arm and drags her down the stairs towards the gate and away from the control room.)

Jessie: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww... but the buttons.

Taylor: Jessie we just got done saving this city. Do you really want to blow it up?

Jessie: But I wouldn't-

Mary: Hush. No touching anything, unless otherwise told to. Both here and on the planet. (Taylor gets an odd look in her eyes) What?

Taylor: I'm going off-world. To a different planet. It's... wooooooooow.

Mitchell: That was my reaction, too. Its cool isn't it?

Taylor: Yeah.

Mary: Taylor, you're already on a different planet.

Jessie: (sharing her twin's awed look) It's different.

Mary: Different how?

Jessie: Yes.

Mitchell: What?

(Taylor and Jessie snicker and are thwacked by Mary)

Mary: Enough of that.

Mitchell: What??

Mary: Try to ignore them. It makes life easier when they're like that.

Teyla: (Entering room, tucking away extra clips in her vest.) Where are your weapons girls?

(Moment of silence)

Mary: I don't think we get weapons.

Taylor: Yeah. I think the point is for us to Not shoot or get shot.

Jessie: Like last time.

(Another moment of silence)

Mary: Right. Anyway.

Teyla: Perhaps you could carry extra ammo for those of us who carry guns then?

Mary: I think we can do that.

Ronon: (entering carrying a crate) Here. Ammo.

Jessie: How'd you know?

Ronon: Know what? We'll just need the rounds.

Sheppard: (walking into the room with the marines and Rodney behind him) Let's go people. Jumper Bay. (Taylor gives a squeak of delight and dashes up to the Jumper Bay, dragging Jessie behind her. The others follow more calmly, even the marines wearing a look of amusement on their faces.)

Ronon: I think she's gone mad.

Mary: She just likes flying.

Sheppard: Really? I never would have known from that flight in. (sarcastically but without malice)

Teyla: In that case maybe we should allow her to ride... shotgun is it?

Rodney: Yes, and do we really have to?

Ronon: Sheppard's piloting.

Sheppard: If she wants it she can have it.

(They reach the Jumper Bay and find Taylor already in the co-pilot's seat of Jumper One.)

Sheppard: (chuckles slightly) And it looks like she wants it.

Mitchell: Was there ever any doubt?

(Everyone piles into the jumper and finds seats. Mary good naturedly takes a seat on the floor and not-quite-so-good naturedly pulls Jessie down next to her.)

Sheppard: Everyone settled? Here we go people.

(The jumper lifts)

Jessie: Are we there yet.

McKay: God.

Mitchell: Jessie, if you say that-

Mary: Jessie. Don't make me hurt you.

Jessie: And how would you go about doing that?

Mary: I'll get a song stuck in your head.

Jessie: You Wouldn't!

Mary: (smiles) Then don't be annoying.

Jessie: Oh fine. You're Evil.

Mary: I know.

(the puddle jumper lowers in front of the Stargate)

Elizabeth: (over the comm.) Good luck.

Sheppard: Thanks. And here we go.

(The puddle jumper shoots through the Stargate, and emerges on Keden.)

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Authors' Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

**The Never Ending Escape Route**  
Chapter Two

* * *

Sheppard: Okay people. It's a fifteen minute flight to the outskirts of the village.

McKay: What are the odds that the Wraith have come back?

Sheppard: They hadn't, according to Kiare, when they dialed the gate.

Mitchell: So what's the plan?

Sheppard: We get to the village, talk to Kiare and the other locals, see if they saw anything helpful, and look.

Jessie: That sounds like one of those "we plan to have a plan" plans.

Teyla and Ronon: A what kind of plan?

Mitchell: It's a common phrase we get from the SGC scientists when they aren't quite sure what to do yet.

Sheppard: I've heard it more than once on Atlantis. (looks pointedly at Rodney)

Rodney: Well, forgive me for not being perfect.

Jessie: You're forgiven.

Taylor: (craning her head around to look at her twin) Play nice, Jess. There will be plenty of time for fun later.

Sheppard: (looking at her warily) Exactly what part of this trip are you expecting to be fun?

Taylor: The part where we all live to fight another day and come home debating who made the stupidest mistake.

Sheppard: (snorts in amusement) That's the spirit.

Mary: To quote a movie "One part courage, three parts fool."

Rodney: What are you talking about?

Mary: Muffins. Giant, man eating, deadly, and Angry Muffins. They come from Nevada and do their best to eat your soul. Fear them. Fear the Muffins.

Teyla: Please, you are not telling the truth.

Ronon: Muffins?

Mitchell: She's joking.

Ronon: The fluffy bread things?

(Mary stares at McKay until he looks away)

McKay: (defensively) I was just asking.

Sheppard: Settle down kids.

(Taylor and Jessie are both trying not to giggle)

Ronon: Muffins eat people?

Mary: No, Ronon, muffins do not eat people. Don't worry.

Ronon: (Grunts assent.)

Sheppard: We're getting close here kids. We'll be landing soon, and we'll walk the rest of the way. Someone tell the Marines in the back that, would they?

(Mitchell passes back the message to the Marines who have been contentedly chatting with each other.)

Taylor: Why do you keep saying kids?

Jessie: Yeah.

Taylor: We're not that young you know.

Mary: Even though we act five.

Taylor: Or younger.

Sheppard: (lands the Jumper) Force of habit. How old are you anyway?

Taylor: Old enough. (at the exact same time,) Jessie: Young enough.

(All but Mary look confused and Jessie grins)

Jessie: If this were Anime they'd all have sweat drops right now. (she giggles)

(They all get up and head out of the Jumper. A middle aged, elegant looking woman with long auburn hair and dark brown eyes greets them.)

Woman: I am Kiare. Leader of the village your friends were helping when they were captured. I'm terribly sorry. I wish there was something we could have done.

Sheppard: It's alright. The Wraith are very powerful. I'm Lt. Col. Sheppard. This is my team Dr. McKay, Ronon and Teyla. We'd like to ask your people some questions if that's okay?

Kiare: Of course. I have told my people of your impending arrival and they are all more than willing to help you in anyway possible.

Sheppard: Thank you.

* * *

(About an hour later a Kedenian is leaving one of the tents set up by the marines. Inside the tent…)

Mitchell: That was the last that saw anything.

Sheppard: Seems everyone saw more or less the same thing too. Wraith dragging our boys south of the village.

Teyla: Kiare, what is to the south of your village?

Kiare: Nothing. It's mostly wilderness, some forested areas, some caves in the hills.

Sheppard: Right. We'll go take a look. We've still got some hours before dark.

Mitchell: Assuming that the wraith are still here, especially since the Stargate wasn't activated when they arrived or left, it might be a good idea to leave some of the marines here to watch over the village.

Sheppard: Good idea. Think we should bring the girls along?

Teyla: If the wraith are indeed there, they would be extremely helpful getting the captured men out of harm's way.

Sheppard: Right. Let's go tell the troops.

* * *

(They leave the tent and find Ronon watching over the tent, the marines already working out shifts (those who drew the short straws currently on watch), Taylor and Jessie amusing themselves at a card game, and Mary watching over the two.)

Sheppard: Right. Wait. Where's McKay?

Mary: He's on the jumper

Sheppard: Why?

Mary: Weird readings on his thingamajig. Didn't explain much really. He did say they weren't dangerous though.

Sheppard: Good. That must mean they're Really harmless if he isn't going on about how they're going to kill him.

McKay: I Heard that! I'll have you know that there are any number of things here that could kill us, the least of which are the wraith.

Sheppard: But those readings of yours, they're harmless?

McKay: (somewhat deflated) Well, yes.

Sheppard: Good. Listen up everybody. Here's the plan.

* * *

(Several hours later, Taylor and Mary are keeping watch and every one else is asleep)

Taylor: Explain to me again why you had to take watch with me and I couldn't do it on my- (trails off into a yawn) own? You know I don't fall asleep.

Mary: Yes, but I have no idea of Jessie's sleeping habits and if she wakes up while you're on watch then we will all die because the two of you will take off and leave us unguarded.

Taylor: Oh. True. (silence) I'm bored.

Mary: Count trees.

Taylor: You mean sheep?

Mary: No, I mean trees. Counting sheep makes you fall asleep.

Taylor: And counting trees won't?

Mary: Well, ponder the meaning of life.

Taylor: Yes, because that's going to make me stay awake.

Mary: Well, what will help you stay awake and keep you entertained?

Taylor: If I knew that we wouldn't be having this conversation. I-

McKay: Shut up, already! (Taylor winces as Mary smirks) Dear God. If you're going to be that annoying I'll just take over watch now. Not like I can sleep with all the noise you two are making anyway.

(silence falls)

(McKay lies for a while before opening one eye.)

McKay: Girls?

Mary: What?

McKay: You stopped talking.

Taylor: ...You told us to.

McKay: Well, you can't just stop talking like that. Makes it sound like you ran off or something.

Mary: We're still here. But now we're quiet.

(silence)

McKay: Okay. Now it's creepy.

Taylor: Well go back to sleep and it won't be creepy anymore.

McKay: (unintelligible mumbling sounds)

(silence)

Taylor: (whispering) Mary?

Mary: (whispering) What?

Taylor: (still whispering) I'm bored.

(Mary sighs and vainly tries to look at her watch in the dark.)

* * *

(Several hours later, Taylor is ranting, and everyone except for Jessie is up.)

Taylor: …sure that she becomes conscious on weekends. Let alone this early. Its like-

(Taylor's rant continues, and Mitchell wanders over to Mary, who is looking at the sleeping Jessie.)

Mitchell: Want me to give it a go?

Mary: No. We have to start looking for the other team soon. I'd prefer it if you weren't limping.

(Mitchell blanches a bit.)

Mary: Taylor?

Taylor: -even almost missed one of her own Birthday Party- yes?

Mary: Don't be so verbose.

Taylor: ...What?

(Mary walks over to Jessie and kneels down by her ear.)

Mary: Look! It's Gaara!

(Nothing happens.)

Mary: Hmm. Oh no! An entire semi of Glitter just fell over on the highway!

(Still nothing as Jessie sleeps on.)

Mary: Hmmm...Ooh. This is going to be mean. (Leans closer to Jessie and whispers something in her ear.)

(Jessie wakes up with a start and with a muffled yelp scampers upright before she's even fully conscious.)

(The party stares as Jessie, waking fully, reaches over to Mary who has now stood and slaps her arm.)

Jessie: That...Was...EVIL! The worst possible way to wake up EVER!

Mary: (rubbing her arm, and smirking) I know. Hurry up. We've got to get a move on.

(As Mary walks back over to the others, Jessie starts to pack up, muttering un-nice things under her breath.)

Taylor: What did you say to my Twin?

Sheppard: Yeah. That was impressive.

Mary: ...I'm going to get hit again.

Taylor: No you're not.

Mary: I said, (giggle) "Taylor, get the duct tape".

Taylor: Mary!!(moves over to her twin and hugs her) Jessie, I would never do that to you. (glares at Mary) You will pay. (Jessie smirks at Mary from under Taylor's arms.)

Mary: I told you I was going to get hit again.

Sheppard: I'm really confused.

Jessie: Taylor has an... obsession...fetish... um... thing for duct tape and duct taping anything she can get her hands on.

Mitchell: And you actually have some with you?

Taylor: Yep. (pulls out three different colored rolls of duct tape) Always. (puts them away)

McKay: Why?

Mary: Because in her eyes, Duct tape is the force that holds the Universe together.

Ronon: What exactly is this duct tape?

Teyla: How does it hold the Universe together?

McKay: It doesn't.

Taylor: (glaring at him and pulling long strip of duct tape from roll) It does.

(McKay starts ranting)

Taylor: (to Ronon) And this is duct tape. Watch its amazing powers.

(silently moves over to Rodney and puts tape over his mouth, Rodney instantly falls silent)

Sheppard: Taylor as much as I appreciate the silence, can you take that off him please?

Ronon: Does she have to do it now? This is nice.

(Rodney glares as Jessie, Mitchell, Sheppard, Taylor and Mary snicker. Teyla just shakes her head.)

Teyla: If you would please, Taylor. We may require him.

Taylor: Awww. (moves over and yanks the tape off)

Rodney: Oww!!

Mary: You should be grateful. The last time she had me with the duct tape-

Mitchell: Wait. I thought you were her overlord something something, right?

Mary: I am.

Mitchell: Shouldn't you be immune to that sort of stuff then?

Mary: ...I think I was a sacrifice so they'd leave someone else alone.

Taylor: (Nods.) Sounds right.

Mary: Thought so.

McKay: Why should I be grateful??

Mary: Oh. Right. She had me cocooned in duct tape, from neck to toes, in a chair. And then they put in a movie and stole my glasses.

Ronon: You let them do that?

Mary: (shrugs) Sure.

Mitchell: Let me guess. She got you back even worse right?

Taylor: Umm...nope.

Jessie: All packed.

Mitchell: No? Really?

Sheppard: Come on people. We've got searching to do.

* * *

(Group gets into jumper and sets off in general direction of the caves, flying low to search as best as they can for signs of Lorne or his team.)

Taylor: Too many trees.

Mitchell: We're in a forest, Taylor, what do you expect?

Jessie: Ninja!!!

Mitchell: WHAT!?

(Sheppard snorts in amusement and Taylor laughs, Mary shakes head, Rodney inches away and Ronon and Teyla are clueless.)

Taylor: Jessie, this isn't the anime world. There are no ninja.

Jessie: You don't know that. They might have ninja.

Sheppard: Somehow, I doubt it.

Teyla: What are ninja?

Rodney: Skilled martial arts fighters, usually depicted in all black with their faces covered.

Ronon: Why would they be in the forest?

Taylor: Because Jessie lives in a fantasy world with all of her favorite anime.

Ronon: What's an anime?

Mary: An animated TV show.

Teyla: A cartoon?

Jessie: They Aren't Cartoons!!

Taylor: Anime are of Japanese origin and are decidedly more...violent and mature than a cartoon. For the most part. It's kind of hard to describe.

Ronon: So we don't actually have to worry about these ninja? Just the Wraith?

Mary: Aren't they enough?

Ronon: She brought up the ninjas.

Jessie: Did not.

Ronon: Yes, you did.

Jessie: Did Not!

Mary: Jessie, down girl.

Jessie: ...What?

Mary: Can we keep the mindless chatter to a little less than constant? And stop confusing people with random pop culture references.

Jessie: But Mary!

Mary: No.

Taylor: But-

Mary: Probably not.

Taylor: What if-

Mary: Maybe.

Taylor: Okay. But only because you said so.

Jessie: Really?

Taylor: Well, she did ask politely.

(silence for a moment)

Teyla: I must confess, you are confusing me greatly.

Sheppard: You're not alone there.

Mitchell: Is it bad that I almost followed that?

Taylor: Probably. Don't worry. It shouldn't happen often.

McKay: There it is again. That reading I was getting last night.

Sheppard: Fiddle with readings later. We're here.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

Authors' Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

**The Never Ending Escape Route  
**Chapter Three

* * *

(Under the jumper, the forests fall away and reveal a very hilly, rocky terrain; full of nooks, crannies, and caves for life-sucking aliens to hide in.)

Sheppard: Let's go over the rules again. Stay with someone at all times. Stick together whenever possible. Keep in radio contact if we get separated, but no idle chatter. Get ready folks, this is for real.

Jessie: Wow. Tall, treacherous looking land, which is enough of a threat to our lives by itself, that we're going to search for creepy, tall aliens, that will suck our life out with their hands, who have captured Lorne's team, who may or may not still be alive, in an attempt to rescue them, that may or may not work, without getting captured, eaten, or killed ourselves. Sounds like the plot to a story.

(Everyone stares at her.)

Taylor: Suddenly, I just want to stay here in the Jumper.

McKay: Thank you, Jessie, for pointing out the terrifying obvious.

Mitchell: I feel slightly less confident about this.

Mary: (thwacks Jessie) What have I told you about doing that?

Jessie: Umm... Don't?

Mary: Exactly. Come on. (Glances over to Taylor who has yet to get up from the seat behind the pilot, having relinquished shot gun to Rodney.) Taylor, you can phase through things.

Taylor: (reluctantly getting up and muttering under her breath) Lot of good it's done me so far.

Jessie: (hearing her twin) Don't worry. We'll stick close to Sheppard and Ronon and I'll make you invisible if anything happens okay? (gives reassuring hug and an apologetic look to the others) Sorry.

Teyla: Come. Time may be running out for Lorne and his team.

Ronon: She's right. Let's go.

* * *

(Forty-five minutes, a close scare with what turned out to be a rodent in a bush, much tired panting after climbing hills, and a few near misses with possible twisted ankles after climbing down hills again...)

McKay: There's something over the next hill.

(Everyone stops.)

Ronon: Is it another rat?

McKay: Very funny. And no, it's too big to be a rat. And there's more than one.

Sheppard: How many more?

McKay: It's hard to tell. There's some interference.

Ronon: (Readies his gun) Wraith-like interference?

McKay: Um...no? Probably not.

(Sheppard motions and everyone crouches down, and at his gestures Mitchell and Ronon scale the hill to the left and right (respectively) while Sheppard climbs up the middle, with Teyla staying behind to guard the others.)

(After a brief wait, the three return over the crest of the hill and meet up with the others at the bottom.)

Sheppard: We've got a cave, no guards out front, and no darts in sight.

McKay: The readings are fading in and out. Probably because whatever they are, they're in several feet of bedrock.

Mitchell: Would that thing work better once we're in the cave?

McKay: It might.

Jessie: To the caves!! (Starts off only to be hauled back by Mary and Mitchell. The military folk all glare.)

Jessie: Whaaaaat?!

Sheppard: We have to be quiet and stealthy if we have any chance of getting our people out of there alive, Jessie. I could have sworn we'd gone over this already.

Jessie: Oh. OH. Yeah, I remember, sorry. (Mitchell and Mary let go, Taylor walks over to Jess.)

Taylor: (quietly so no one else can hear) I was just about to do the same thing. (They share a twin grin and quietly and stealthily follow Sheppard into the caves.)

Rodney: I was right. The readings get clearer the further in we go.

Mitchell: That's good because we've just hit the fork in the road. Literally. (before them there are three more caves.)

Teyla: Which way Rodney?

Rodney: I can now say with a fair degree of certainty that there are five beings in… that direction. (He points off down the right cave.)

Ronon: Okay, then. (starts off down that way, others follow)

(Taylor, Mary, and Jessie are whispering amongst themselves.)

Taylor: I wonder if they realize that if Jess makes us invisible the two of us could just pop through the walls without having to worry about being spotted and find Lorne's team.

Jessie: Yeah. Maybe we should remind them. I want to phase through walls.

Mary: Somehow I don't see them forgetting or not realizing. They're probably just trying to keep us all together. If they want you to do that, I'm sure they'll say something.

Taylor: But-

Mary: We're being quiet. Hush.

(After a while down the cave of choice, the party grows uneasy.)

Jessie: Taylor?

Taylor: What?

Jessie: This is creepy.

Taylor: Well, yeah. Don't think about it. You can always go invisible if you like.

(Jessie quiets down, just in time for the party to hear-)

Ronon: Something's moving down there.

Mitchell: Yeah, I heard it too.

Sheppard: Right. Now this is getting fun.

Mary: Fun?

Taylor: Sarcastic fun.

Mary: Ah.

Sheppard: I think it's time we get your powers up and running girls. Jessie can go with the lead team and make us invisible. Taylor, you wait with the others and come running if we find the men and it's safe.

Jessie: I'm not sure, but it might be possible for me to make everyone invisible at once, if we're touching.

Taylor: It's a risk.

Mitchell: We're better off with a few. We can't have you getting tired out now, can we?

Jessie: But-

Mary: He's right. You'll be safe. They're the ones with guns, remember.

(Taylor makes a whimpering noise that clearly says, without words, "But she's my Twin! She's not going into danger all on her own! Mary!!! Please!??!?")

Mary: Sorry Taylor. You can kill me if it goes wrong. But they're right.

(The 'attack' team of Ronon, Mitchell, Sheppard and Jessie disappear, literally, further into the cave.)

Taylor: I'm holding you to that, you know.

Mary: I know.

* * *

(Down farther along the cave...)

Mitchell: You're sure we're invisible?

Jessie: Yes.

Mitchell: Because now would be a bad time to get it wrong.

Jessie: Yes.

Sheppard: When we get there, if I say run, you run. Understand?

Jessie: Yes.

Ronon: Can you say anything other than yes?

Jessie: YES!

(A noise is heard ahead; scratchy, far too stealthy to be anything good, and heading up the cave.)

Sheppard: Here we go people. Jessie, get ready to run.

Jessie: (very, very quietly; more so than the whispering they've used since entering the cave) Ok.

(Despite being invisible, the four of them push back against the wall. The stealthy scratchy noises slowly grow closer to them.)

Mitchell: This is kind of irritating. (Quieter than his normal whisper)

Ronon: I say we just go towards it. It's not like whatever it is can see us anyway. (Not quite so quietly)

Sheppard: We stay. If we move, we risk making noise and alerting what or who ever it is to our presence. (Noise is closer)

Mitchell: Jessie, you are ready to run, aren't you?

Jessie: (starting to get irritated) Yes. Yes, already.

Sheppard: If she says she's ready, she's ready. Leave it. (Noise is just around the corner now)

Ronon: This is it.

(The being responsible for the noise stumbles around the corner.)

Sheppard: Freeze! (The terrified young woman nearly falls over in surprise)

Young Woman: What? Who's there?

Sheppard: Jess, let her see us. (Jessie releases invisibility) Lt. Col. John Sheppard. Atlantis base. Who are you?

Celyn: I am Celyn. You are friends of Major Lorne and his team?

Mitchell: We are. Do you know them?

Celyn: Yes. He was delivering supplies to my hospital when the Wraith attacked. He made sure we found our way to safety. Found our way here. Then they took him.

Sheppard: Jessie, go get the others. (Jessie walks a ways away then yells for the others to come) I could have done that.

Jessie: (Giving him a funny look) So why didn't you?

Mitchell: Celyn, why were you sneaking around in here if this place is safe?

Celyn: We decided that we needed to tell someone what had happened to your friends. We would have gone earlier except that there was a cave in and two of us were severely injured. I was sneaking because I heard voices and was afraid that somehow the Wraith had found us. I'm sorry if I worried you.

(The others come running, and Taylor promptly glomps her twin.)

Jessie: Oomph...Taylor...air...

Taylor: Oh. Sorry. Glad to see you're alright is all.

Sheppard: How long since the Wraith left this place with Lorne and his team?

Celyn: Many, many hours I am afraid.

Teyla: Where did the wraith go?

Celyn: Then left in their little ships.

Mitchell: Those dart thingies?

McKay: No no no. That's impossible. Dart's can't travel that far, not without using the Stargate.

Sheppard: Are you sure they were darts?

Celyn: If that is what you call them, yes.

McKay: Wait.

(Pause)

Sheppard: What?

McKay: I'm thinking.

(Pause)

Sheppard: What Rodney?

McKay: I'll be outside the cave. (Walks away)

Sheppard: McKay!!!

(McKay ignores him and keeps walking, now punching buttons on the device he traces life signs with and muttering.)

Sheppard: Teyla. (He gestures to the woman and the other four people now limping up from the back of the cave.)

Teyla: (nods to Sheppard) Celyn, come, we will take you back to the village.

* * *

(Outside the cave)

Sheppard: Rodney? What was that about?

McKay: You remember those readings I was getting on the way here and last night?

Sheppard: Yeah. So?

McKay: And you know that this (gestures with device) isn't just another life signs detector?

Sheppard: (growing impatient) What is it McKay?

McKay: I know what it is! I know where they are! And if you'd only let me look into this earlier we could have saved wasting our time.

Ronon: What is it McKay? (Growling)

McKay: Come on. We have to get back to the jumper and let Elizabeth know what's going on.

Mitchell: What IS going on?

Taylor: Jessie?

Jessie: Why are you asking me?

Taylor: You were closest to him when he had his epiphany.

Jessie: And you think that means I understood?! (Screeching in her "I don't have a clue, so stop asking" voice.)

Mary: Enough with the screeching already. You're going to start another cave-in.

Jessie: Noise doesn't cause cave-ins.

Mitchell: Doesn't it?

Taylor: Not according to Channel One it doesn't.

Mary: Oh, and if Channel One says so then it must be true, is that it?

Taylor and Jessie: Yes.

Sheppard: Girls, can we concentrate on the mission, Please?

Taylor: Oh right. (Blushes) Sorry.

Sheppard: It's okay. McKay. Will you please tell me what's going on?

McKay: We'll talk and walk. We have to tell Elizabeth. (They start heading for the jumper) Right, so. The reason the signal I've been getting is so weak is because Lorne and his team aren't on the planet anymore. They're in a Hive ship in orbit around Keden.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

The Never-Ending Escape Route  
Chapter Four

(In a cell on the Hive ship in orbit.)

(Major Lorne, Sergeant Derek Jordan, Lt. Nathaniel Crines, and Dr. Brian Moss are being held in a cell on the hive ship, which is indeed in orbit around Keden.)

Lorne: Crines, how's Moss doing?

(Dr. Brian Moss, botanist, moans from his sitting position against the wall.)

Crines: He's doing better, Major. His head's still killing him though.

Lorne: That's a good sign, Lieutenant.

Moss: Bloody hell, it's a good sign.

Lorne: Means you're still alive doc.

(Moss just grumbles. Crines checks the bandaged around Moss's temple.)

Lorne: Still with us Sergeant?

Jordans: Yes sir. Just resting, sir.

Lorne: Good thinking. We'll need all the help we can get when we get out of here.

Jordans: Any idea when they'll come get us, sir? We've been here for a few hours.

Lorne: You're complaining?

Jordans: (laughs) No sir. It'd just be nice to know.

Lorne: Well, they can take all the time they want. (Settles back against the wall) I'm just starting to get comfortable.

(The other three laugh the hollow laugh reserved for times when one knows the joke really isn't funny. It isn't easy being a meal.)

(Back with Sheppard and co.)

(The Puddle Jumper is heading upward through the atmosphere as Rodney is filling Elizabeth in.)

McKay: ...and it was then that I realized that they were above us in the ship.

Elizabeth: Alright. I assume you still want to mount the rescue mission?

Sheppard: Yes.

Elizabeth: Am I correct in guessing that you're already headed towards the Hive ship?

Sheppard: Also, yes.

Elizabeth: Colonel...

Sheppard: Elizabeth, look. We've got the girls. We have the element of surprise and we can cloak the Jumper. We can't just leave them there.

Elizabeth: I was going to say good luck.

Sheppard: Oh. (Jessie snickers as Sheppard glares at her and Taylor tries to hide a smile as others attempt not to laugh) Right. Well. We'll remake contact as soon as we can.

Elizabeth: You've got the next 24 hours. I'll have the Daedalus detour and meet you over there. Be careful.

Sheppard: Absolutely. Sheppard out.

Mitchell: That went better than I had expected it would.

Ronon: Yeah.

Teyla: She was more agreeable than usual.

Mary: It's probably because of Taylor and Jessie. The power of Invisibility and to escape through walls makes any secret mission more likely to succeed.

Jessie: Oh.

McKay: Well, that would make sense. We're in an invisible ship, and we'll be invisible and dare I say, unstoppable once we get out of the jumper.

Sheppard: I wouldn't say unstoppable...

Ronon: We'll be damn close. (Ronon then pauses, and considers his use of profanity in front of the young women. Nothing happens. No screaming, complaining, or stares. He relaxes with a mental note to check before swearing again. Probably. Well, he'll try. Or not.)

(Pause)

Taylor: (begins to giggle) Jessie! You know what that means?

Jessie: (giggles as well) I do!

Ronon: I don't.

Taylor: We're invincible!

Jessie: Nearly. Nearly invincible. (Pause) Like Ninjas!!!

McKay: (turns to Mary) Can you make them stop.

Mary: Probably.

Sheppard: You know, not all ninjas are invincible.

Jessie: Nearly invincible. And the majority of them are.

Ronon: I'm still a little lost.

Mary: They're staying sane. There's no way I'm stopping them.

Teyla: I find the chatter...amusing.

McKay: Well you would. You're a woman. You practically understand these things.

Teyla: (turns to Mary) What did he mean?

Mary: (shrug) Just ignore him. All will be well when he learns to stop fighting it.

McKay: Hey! Sitting Right Here!

(Ronon and Sheppard chuckle.)

Taylor: Hey, don't lose sight of the topic here!

Sheppard: What topic?

Taylor: Invincible Ninjas. I bet you can't name one non-invincible one off the top of your head.

Sheppard: Well... umm... There was-

Taylor: Triumphed in the end. Never died.

McKay: Or that one-

Jessie: Faked it.

Sheppard: Oh Hey. The one where-

Mary: Nope.

McKay: That guy who-

Taylor and Jessie: Faked it and then won in the end. (Long pause where Sheppard and Rodney keep thinking and Jess and Taylor just smile evilly)

Sheppard: Huh. I guess you're right.

Taylor: Of cour-nevermind. (Jess and Mary shoot her a confused look and then Jessie smirks) Shut up.

Jessie: I didn't say anything. (Taylor glares. Jessie continues grinning. The others look even more confused.)

Ronon: What's with you girls and Ninjas anyway? (They look at each other)

Mary: Taylor and Jessie are obsessed with a show called Naruto.

Sheppard: Oh. Hey. I've heard of that. Any good?

Taylor: Mhmm. Excellent story lines, plot twists catch you way off guard and there's this one character who always wears a mask and at some point really really late in the series you finally get to see his face.

Jessie: Kakashi's pretty pretty face. (Taylor grins in agreement)

Rodney: (confused) Isn't that an anime?

Mary: Yep.

Ronon: What's an anime?

Mary: ...Haven't we already been over this?

Ronon: Oh. That TV thing you watch for hours at a time. (Mary nods.) I still think it sounds stupid.

Taylor: Well, I guess it probably is.

Jessie: You're not going to defend Kakashi?

Taylor: If I don't we get to keep him ourselves.

Jessie: Ah. Say nothing more.

Taylor: (smiles) Wasn't planning on it.

Jessie: Good.

Mary: You know you should pick topics that we all can relate to.

Jessie: Three out of eight isn't bad.

Mary: Two.

Taylor: Oh right. You aren't into Naruto.

Jessie: Mary! You're not the person I thought you were...

Mary: (shrugs) Sorry.

Jessie: How is that even possible?

Mary: I had more of a life than you two?

Jessie: Hey! Just because we---oh. You're probably right.

Mary: Thank you.

Taylor: Just because we have less of a life than you doesn't mean we don't enjoy it more.

Rodney: And of COURSE you find a way to argue.

Taylor: It's what I'm good at.

Mary: She's very good at it. Even if her arguing point is based on nothing but her own twisted logic and an insane opinion-twisted fact, she can do it.

Taylor: Than-Hey!! Wait a minute!! (All laugh) That was mean!!

Ronon: You walked into it kid.

Taylor: That doesn't make it right! (Protesting vehemently and blushing slightly)

Jess: It was funny though.

Taylor: E tu, Twinie? (Jess laughs)

Mary: Oh calm down. We're just kidding. Right guys? (All nod agreement, but Rodney just rolls his eyes and Sheppard is still grinning)

Taylor: I don't believe you... but I'm too bored to care much. What were we talking about?

Mary: Muffins.

Teyla: The food?

Mary: Yep. Yummy, yummy muffins.

Ronon: Why would we talk about muffins?

Mary: Because they're evil and monstrous. And attack people.

Jessie: We were so not talking about muffins.

Mary: Can you prove that we weren't talking about muffins?

Jessie: To do so I'd have to propose a conundrum that would negate reality itself.

Mary: It wouldn't necessarily negate reality.

McKay: True. It'd just negate the suggestion of reality. Reality would still exist.

Jessie: But would we know it existed?

Mary: Interesting point.

Jessie: Well?

McKay: You know, I could probabl--

Taylor: (to Sheppard) No, Really, how much longer until we get there?

Sheppard: (chuckles) Give me a second. (Pulls up display on the HUD) Not much longer now. Here see. This is us (he points at a blue dot) and this is the hive ship (he points at a larger dot of indeterminate color)

Taylor: Oh good. The sooner we get this going the sooner it'll be over.

(Sheppard looks at her from where he'd been watching the discussion behind them)

Sheppard: Are you nervous?

Taylor: Yeah. So is Jess, and Mary is, too. Is that bad?

Mitchell: (just waking up from his nap and overhearing the last part of their conversation) No. Not at all. I'd be more worried about you if you weren't nervous.

Sheppard: You just all seemed so calm during the whole Jewel of Atlantis thing.

Taylor: I think we were able to convince ourselves it was just a game. That it wasn't real. But now...

Mitchell: Now you've suffered through the pain of a gunshot wound and you're disillusioned. You don't want it to happen again because it hurt and you're scared of the pain. (Taylor nods, looking worried. Jess leans over and hugs her.)

Sheppard: Don't worry girls. That's completely normal. I'd like to say that everything is going to be fine, but I won't do that to you. There is a very serious chance that one or more of us may be seriously injured or die.

Teyla: If you girls are reconsidering you're willingness to carry out this mission, no one will think less of you for staying in the Jumper.

Jessie: Mary would.

Mary: What?

Taylor: Yep. She' call us cowards.

Mary: I wouldn't!

Jessie: And yell at us.

Taylor: And beat us.

Mary: Hey! Come on now!

Jessie: And torture us.

Taylor: And our families.

Mary: No! I wouldn't! Where are you going with this? You're...you're...you're...

(Mary falls silent and Taylor and Jessie laugh at her expense.)

Sheppard: Let's grim up people. We're here.

(Indeed, out the forward view screen one can see the massive hive ship, still a tiny speck, but growing ever faster.)

Taylor: Wow. That's big.

Ronon: Extremely.

Jessie: Sort of cool in a "this could kill us" kind of way.

Mitchell: ...You had an odd childhood, didn't you?

Jessie: Still am odd.

Mitchell: I know. Just had to say it.

Mary: Don't call him captain obvious.

Jessie: (exhales) Awww...

(The jumper containing our eclectic crew approaches, and enters, the Hive ship.)

Sheppard: McKay?

McKay: No life signs close. Tons elsewhere, mind you, but for now this area seems clear.

Sheppard: Right. (Lands Jumper) Okay everyone. Let's move out.

Taylor: Are we splitting up?

Sheppard: For the time being, I think its best that we stay together. (They start off down the hall.)

Mitchell: Man, this place is even creepier than your description made me think it was. (Jessie and Taylor are very close together between Ronon who's at the back and Sheppard and Mitchell who are sharing point, Mary walks beside them.)

Jessie: I get the feeling that this is the kind of place that no words will ever do justice to.

Taylor: (giggles softly) You ended that sentence in a preposition, Jack and Mrs. DeJaynes will hunt you down when we get back.

Jess: Oh hush you. They will do no such thing.

Teyla: Girls, now is the time for quiet. (Taylor and Jessie nod apologetically and fall silent.)

Rodney: I wonder how Lorne's doing.

(With Lorne)

Lorne: You still doing okay over there, Doc?

Moss: No better than before, Major if that's what you're asking. But no worse either.

Crines: Sir, I'm a little new to this but shouldn't they have- (Jordans slaps a hand over his mouth while he and Lorne and Moss glare at Crines.)

Jordans: Whatever you were going to say, kid, never, ever, ever say stuff that might jinx us out loud. Ever. SG teams have bad enough luck as it is without people like you making it worse.

Lorne: Jordans, that's enough. He didn't know about the jinxing. Leave him alone. (Jordans lets go of Crines.)

Crines: I'm sorry. It's just... Colonel Sheppard's team seems to have boundless amounts of luck.

Moss: Sheppard's team consists of one of the best pilots the Air Force has to offer, he may be a cocky flyboy, but his head on straight and his priorities are set; a brilliant scientist second only to Samantha Carter, though no one would ever say it to his face; the leader of the Athosians who is an excellent peace-keeper and a fighter to boot; and an alien military specialist who can take on six fully trained marines and win. Sheppard's team isn't really lucky. They are very very good and have a small amount of luck.

Crines: Oh.

Lorne: And besides, no one wants to be jinxed, right?

Crines: R-right. Sorry sir.

Lorne: Relax Nate. The odds of them coming now are a millio-

Jordans: Sir. Someone's coming.

(Crines attempts to meld with the wall.)

Lorne: (under his breath) It wasn't you Lieutenant.

(The Wraith approaches, the doors recede. He walks back the reclining and wounded Dr. Moss, and stands in front of Sergeant Jordans.)

Wraith: You'll do nicely.

(Two other Wraith come and grab Jordans.)

Lorne: Leave him alone! Take me!

(The first wraith snarls, and follows the other two - dragging Jordans - out, sealing the cell behind him.)

Lorne: (runs to the organic mesh bars) Hold on Derek! We'll get you out!! Jordans!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

The Never-Ending Escape Route  
Chapter Five

(Meanwhile…back with the Rescue party:)

(The whole group is pushed up against a wall as two of the drone wraith walk by in an adjoining hallway.)

McKay: (after they're gone) Okay that was a little too close for comfort. If we keep running into them like this we'll never get anywhere.

Ronon: He's right. We can't have gone more than three corridors in the last hour.

Teyla: If we could at least know where we were heading, it would help us greatly.

Mitchell: Agreed.

Sheppard: Taylor? Can you do it? (She nods)

Mary: Be careful. If you die, I'll repossess all your DVD's and plushies for myself.

Taylor: (horrified) Nani?!

Jess: Don't worry. I'll save them. Go. Careful. (Taylor grins and gives thumbs up)

Taylor: Always. (She phases backwards through the wall)

(The group waits in silence that seems to stretch forever. Finally she phases back out of the wall.)

Taylor: Got 'em. Down this hall to the right, the next left, the third left, the second right and then straight ahead.

Mitchell: Say again?

Mary: Taylor, that's too confusing.

Jessie: No it's not.

McKay: When it comes to the two of you, I'm beginning to think the other's opinions and understandings don't count.

Taylor and Jess: That means you're learning.

Teyla: All the same, those were fairly confusing directions.

Sheppard: Just take point with me and tell me where to turn, but don't get ahead of me.

(The group works its way down the corridors and down twists and turns that, sans Taylor's knowledge, would have certainly gotten them lost.)

Mitchell: Taylor, how'd you find them in the first place?

Taylor: I followed a few of the Wraith Drone thingies the ones without faces.

Mitchell: ...and they just happened to take you to the cell?

Taylor: No. But I got lost and was trying to find my way back when I saw Lorne. I didn't stop to say hello, I just came back as fast as I could.

McKay: Wraith ahead.

(The group huddles against the wall again, invisible, as the guards pass.)

Ronon: How much further?

Taylor: I told you; a right and then straight for a while.

(In the cells)

Lorne: Crines check on Dr. Moss, would you?

(Crines sits in the corner, huddled.)

Lorne: Alright then.

(Lorne gets up and walks over to Brian Moss.)

Moss: How's he holding up?

Lorne: Still won't say anything. I think that jinx thing made him snap. Let's hope when we get out of this he gets over it. How's your head?

Moss: Better...or I'm getting numb to the pain.

Lorne: Let's hope for better, shall we?

(Nathaniel Crines whimpers, and stares fixedly down the empty hallway.)

Lorne: Crines? Sergeant, did you hear someth-

(He hears it as well, the sound of feet coming down the passage.)

Lorne: (getting up) Well this time I'm putting up a fight.

(Moss attempts to get up, but Lorne signals him to stay down. Crines tries to curl into an even smaller ball in the corner, when-)

(The rescue party comes around the corner, hurriedly.)

Sheppard: Now where?

(Taylor points to a cell that looks to be empty.)

Mitchell: Are you sure?

Taylor: Positive. (Others shrug and head towards the cell)

Sheppard: Lorne? Lorne, you in there?

Lorne: Colonel? (He steps into view) Nice to see you sir. About time, too.

Sheppard: Yeah. Sorry about that. We had to figure out that you were in a ship first.

Lorne: (turns to look at McKay) You figure that out, doc?

McKay: I did.

Moss: So are we getting out of here, now?

Mitchell: You sure are.

Teyla: Taylor, I believe the best way to get them out would be for you to do so.

Taylor: Right. (She phases through the wall) Hi, Lorne.

Lorne: Um... hi. Who are you?

Jessie: That's right. He hasn't met us yet.

Ronon: (while he and Teyla are keeping eyes and ears open for Wraith coming towards them) All you need to know right now is that she can you get you out of there.

Taylor: I can phase through walls. You just saw me do it. (She smiles and holds out her hand) Come on. I have to get you out of here.

Lorne: Wait. Crines needs somebody to talk some semblance of sanity back into him. Otherwise he's not going anywhere. (Everyone hears the unspoken 'and neither am I' at the end of Lorne's statement and share glances of things that range from pride to 'this guy is stupid'.)

Taylor: What's wrong with him?

Lorne: You ever have someone tell you not to jinx something and then you say it anyway and it happens?

Taylor, Jessie and Mary: Yes. (Lorne nods at Crines.)

Lorne: The Wraith drones took Jordans. (Looks of horror cross the faces of the newcomers)

Taylor: Oh. (She reaches back through the wall, grabs hold of Mary, pulls her through and pushes her gently towards Crines.)

Mary: Hu-Wha?

Taylor: He needs a boss-chan pep talk. A nice one. Like the ones you give to us when we're freaking out about tests. NOT the ones you give us when we haven't done homework. (Mary and Jessie seem to be the only ones able to comprehend the difference) Well, go on. Lorne and I will get this guy-Moss did you say-out of here.

(As Taylor and Lorne help the wounded Brian Moss out of the cell, Mary goes and sits next to the extremely frightened Nathaniel Crines.)

Mary: So, Nate right? You're a lieutenant, right?

(Crines looks at her.)

Mary: If it helps, I know how you feel.

Crines: You have No IDEA how this feels!!!

(Lorne watches on, from the other side of the cell. Taylor waits patiently outside the cell, waiting to help them out.)

Mary: Yes I do.

Crines: (He laughs, but there's no humor in it.) Really? How?

Mary: Well. This one time, not too long ago, I was walked into a room of people being unnaturally quiet. So what do I do? I ask them "Who died?"

Crines: And?

Mary: And there was actually a person who'd died, and saying that to his friends was a very not-good thing to do.

Crines: That has nothing to do with this

Mary: Yes it does. It's exactly the same. You're not in control of the universe. And you really didn't get Sergeant Jordans killed. What you and I have, Nate, is really, really bad timing.

(Crines ponders this for a moment.)

Crines: So, we can go now.

Mary: Yep. Come on. (She helps him up.) Ever walked through a wall before? It's tons of fun.

Jess: She's so brill.

Taylor: (phasing through the wall to take Crines' hand) Jess, brill is not a word. (Phases back through the wall with Crines.)

Crines: Hey... That was fun. (Taylor returns for Mary and the two of them come out and finally notice the amazed looks on the others faces.)

Lorne: How did you...? How did she...?

Rodney: An excellent question. How did you do that?

Teyla: Do you have some sort of psychological medical training? (Mary stares at her and then thwacks Jessie and Taylor when they start giggling.)

Mary: I don't. I just have to deal with these two and quite a few more like them on a daily basis. I'm the oldest so...Yeah. I have all the little tidbits and inside scoops so I'm the one who has to calm them down and return them to sanity right before their tests and projects and things. After awhile you figure out what works and what doesn't.

Taylor: (recovering both from being thwacked and her giggling) I guess you could kind of call it Psych training, but really it's just talking sense into us.

Mary: (under her breath) Not that it ever works!

Taylor and Jessie: Hey!!!

(The others hide smiles.)

Mary: What? Do you ever listen to me? No. You don't.

Taylor: We do.

Jessie: Sort of.

Crines: We _can_ go now, right?

Lorne: Sure thing buddy. Col. Sheppard, lead the way.

Sheppard: I'd be happy to.

(The entire party is making its way, rather uneventfully, down the corridors. About halfway to the jumper...)

Ronon: This is weird.

Lorne: Did you have it this easy getting to us?

Sheppard: No. Rodney??

McKay: I'm getting nothing.

Mary: Hmm. You'd think we'd run in to _someone_.

Moss: (to Teyla, who is helping him along) So, what's with the girls?

Teyla: Taylor, as you know, can walk through walls. Jessie here, (Jessie looks over and waves) has the ability to become invisible. Mary can read Ancient. All three girls were monumentally helpful in saving the city from Kolya.

Moss: Ok. But...how?

Jessie: How save city?

Mary: He means how powers.

Jessie: Oh. Don't know.

Taylor: Me neither.

Mary: I don't know, but if I did I wouldn't tell anyway.

Mitchell: Why not?

Mary: Because I'm evil incarnate.

Lorne: You are evil incarnate? Evil incarnate, as in ...evil?

Mary: Yep.

Mitchell: You are not evil incarnate.

Mary: Taylor?

Taylor: If she says she's evil incarnate then she's evil incarnate.

Mary: See? Told you so. Really though, you would have thought that by now someone would have noticed that-

(The klaxons go off)

Crines: (to Mary) Bad timing?

Mary: Told you so. It's what I get for being evil incarnate.

(Crines smirks)

McKay: We've got company coming people!

(The party forms up, those without weapons near the center of the group. Everyone speaks in whispers.)

Sheppard: Can we get away?

McKay: No. We're being surrounded.

Mitchell: We can get through walls. Will that help?

McKay: No. They're in every corridor.

Sheppard: Invisibility?

McKay: Oh sure. That'll work until they wonder why they keep running into Human feeling bits of thin air! I told you No!

Sheppard: Here we go people. This is going to be rough.

(Everyone waits, on edge, for the first wraith to show. There is an "Oomph!" and Lorne goes down, struck by a stunner.)

Sheppard: Behind us! Move!

(Ronon picks up Lorne under his shoulders, and the entire party limps away from the wraith, only to be cornered by another coming from the opposite direction.)

(Full fighting commences.)

McKay: (still reading off the life signs detector) The Corridor behind us is clear!

Sheppard: Taylor! Get everyone you can into the next corridor over!

Taylor: Right!

(One by one, Taylor gets Ronon - and the unconscious Lorne being carried by Ronon - and Jessie and Mary over, and comes back for more people.)

Sheppard: Taylor! The fighting's too rough over here! Get to the Jumper! Go! (He pushes her back through the wall.)

(She starts back through the wall only to be pulled back by Jessie and Mary at the order of Ronon.)

Taylor: But they-

Ronon: There's nothing you can do now kid. Sheppard said to go so we go.

Taylor: But- (Mary and Jessie start to forcibly drag her down the hallway)

Jess: If you die he'll be mad at us.

Mary: More importantly he'll be mad at you. You don't want that do you?

Taylor: What? No, of course not.

Mary: OH. "Of course." You hear that Jess. "Of course not" she says.

Taylor: (yanks her arms from jess and Mary) Leave me alone. (Jess sniggers and Taylor glares at her) Traitor. (She helps Ronon with Lorne and the four of them that are conscious start off as quickly as humanly possible.)

Mary: Oh stop being so sulky. I was teasing you.

Jess: Yeah.

Taylor: (blushing slightly) Oh.

Jess: (looking at Taylor analytically before suddenly reaching a conclusion) Oh My God. MARY!!!

Ronon: Keep it down. We are running for our lives you know.

Jessie: Right sorry. Mary!!!

Mary: What? (Jess gives pointed look to the now even more blushing Taylor) Oh. My. God!!! Taylor, seriously?!

Taylor: Shut up. (Refusing to look at them and just keeps running)

Jess: Wow.

Mary: Oh. You poor thing.

Taylor: Just leave me alone. As if it isn't bad enough, now the two of you are going to tease me, too?

Mary: Of course not. That'd be mean.

Ronon: What are you talking about?

Mary: Nothing. Which way to the jumper?

Taylor: This way.

Jessie: I want to be the one to talk to him.

Mary: To give him the dating talk? Nope. My job.

Jessie: Really. I really want to do it.

Mary: But if he doesn't take it well, then he'll get mad. I'd rather he get mad at me.

Jessie: Good point.

Taylor: You do know nothing is official yet right?

Jessie: Well, yeah, but it's good to be prepared.

Ronon: Are you sure we're heading in the right direction?

Taylor: Yeah. Why?

Ronon: I hear Wraith ahead.

Jessie: Oh cra-


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

The Never-Ending Escape Route  
Chapter Six

(Near the jumper)

Sheppard: Everybody in! They're right behind us!

(All climb in.)

Mitchell: The girls, how are the girls?

McKay: (tossing the broken life signs detector aside and moving to the front of the ship) It isn't my fault it was overloaded by a stunner blast you know.

Mitchell: (right behind him) I know. Just...where are they?

Teyla: (after settling Moss in the back, with Crines looking over him) Are we cloaked?

Sheppard: Yeah.

(The HUD pops up.)

McKay: There they are.

Mitchell: Which ones?

McKay: Those dots right there.

Teyla: Are they all present?

McKay: Yeah. They're heading this way.

Sheppard: Come on. You can make it. Keep coming.

(Back with Ronon, Lorne, and the girls.)

Taylor: Where are the Wraith coming from?

Ronon: Lots of places.

Mary: Can you please be more specific?

Ronon: We need to hurry.

(In the jumper.)

McKay: Oh no. See those dots? Those are wraith.

Crines: Should we go back for them?

Sheppard: You're not going anywhere.

Mitchell: They're really outnumbered. We probably couldn't get to them in time.

(The people in the jumper look on in horror as the dots converge. And then, they start moving again, but a few disappear.)

Mitchell: What's with those? Where'd they go?

McKay: (choking) They died.

Sheppard: What? Who?

McKay: If Ronon and the girls had died, the Wraith would be coming this way. If our people had lived they'd be coming this way.

Teyla: They are moving away from here.

McKay: That means they were caught.

Sheppard: And the ones who didn't make it?

McKay: Could be either. Ronon might've taken out a few Wraith.

Sheppard: Hold on people. We're going back to Atlantis. And I intend hurry.

(Back with the others)

Taylor: This is not good. (Glances around at all the Wraith who are escorting the five of them to a cell)

Jess: (limping and being supported between Mary and Taylor) Yeah. Very not good.

Lorne: I think that counts as the understatement of the year.

Mary: Oh. You're awake. (Ronon sets him down)

Lorne: (wincing) I certainly wish I was still asleep. Then this would be me dreaming.

Ronon: If this is what you want your dreams to be, I don't want to know about your nightmares.

Lorne: I was definitely going to count this in the nightmare category.

Taylor: I would count this in Tormented Hallucinations of Sleep Brought on by Extreme Stress.

Jess: Did you just make that up?

Wraith: Silence!!

Taylor: (very very quietly) Why do they always say that? It's so cliché. "Silence" (mimicking him) Makes him look so stupidly... dull.

Mary: (glancing at the wraith) Taylor, be quiet. This is no time for games.

Taylor: But-

Mary: That's an order.

Wraith: SILENCE!!!!!

(The party marches onward. Eventually they come to new cells far from the one Lorne's team was originally in, and also farther into the depths of the hive ship. The Wraith deposit their prisoners in the cell and leave.)

Lorne: Wasn't I just here?

(Taylor looks pointedly at Mary.)

Mary: What? Oh, yes, order rescinded. Talk now.

Taylor: Thank you. Don't see why you had to order me.

Jessie: Well, it's better with you alive.

Mary: Yep.

Taylor: Still...didn't have to order me. Woulda stopped eventually.

(In the Jumper.)

Sheppard: Rodney, dial the gate. We won't be stopping.

(In Atlantis...)

(Donald, at the controls...)

Donald: (into headset) Dr. Weir to the control room.

Elizabeth: (walking in) What is it?

Donald: It's Colonel Sheppard.

Elizabeth: (into radio) Colonel Sheppard?

Sheppard: Elizabeth. We need a medical team in the jumper bay for Dr. Moss.

And we need a team of Marines ready to leave Now.

Elizabeth: What happened?

Sheppard: They captured Ronon, Lorne, and the girls. Sergeant Jordans didn't make it. The rest of us got out. And we need to hurry.

Elizabeth: The Marines will be there.

(Back on the jumper)

Crines: We're going back then?

(The jumper breaks into the planet's atmosphere.)

Sheppard: WE are going back. You're helping Moss off the jumper.

Mitchell: Plan?

Sheppard: Get the girls.

McKay: ...and Ronon and Lorne.

Sheppard: Right. And Ronon and Lorne too.

Teyla: (eyes Sheppard) Hmm.

Sheppard: What?

Teyla: I think perhaps you have more worry for the girls than Ronon?

Sheppard: What? No! Well yes. Ronon and Lorne, they can take care of themselves.

Mitchell: The girls aren't helpless you know.

Sheppard: Well, no, but...we're going back, ok? Anyone have a problem with that?

McKay: (catching on) You like one of them. At least I hope it's one. It is only one right?

Sheppard: No I don't!

Teyla: You do.

Mitchell: ...Yep. I can see it too.

(The village is in sight now, on the planet.)

Mitchell: Like my grandma always says, "There's no better proof of love than saving them from aliens."

(Pause)

Moss: (laughing) I like your grandma.

Mitchell: She's a peach, she is. You'd love her.

Sheppard: (growls under breath) Just...we've got work to do.

(The jumper enters the Stargate.)

(In the cell on the Wraith Hive Ship)

Taylor: Okay, well, trying to bust out won't do us any good.

Jessie: Why not? You can walk through walls. And I can do the Invisbling thing.

Mary: One, Invisibling is NOT a real word. Two: You can barely walk on that ankle, much less run away from Wraith on it. Most importantly, three: Even if we do get out, with the Jumper gone we have nowhere to run to.

Taylor: Again with the ending the sentences with prepositions. You and Jessie, both.

Jess: Well, if we're not busting out then what are we doing?

Lorne: Waiting for a rescue. (Ronon snorts and looks irritated at having to wait for a rescue)

Jess: Will they even come for us? They've already been on one rescue mission today.

Taylor: They'll come. I know they will.

Lorne: Of course they will. (Looking at Jessie) This is Sheppard we're talking about. He _never_ leaves people in enemy hands if he has anything to say in the matter (Far off look as he remembers something) and sometimes even when he doesn't.

Ronon: Sheppard is the kind of guy who would risk his life for someone he doesn't even know in an instant with no thought to the consequences. If there's one thing you can count on, it's that he's coming back for us.

Mary: They're right. I may not have known him long but... even I can see that he'll be coming for us. So just relax and enjoy this lovely cell thing that they've put us in.

Jessie: This is not lovely.

Taylor: Hmm. (She sits with her back to a wall.) At least it's not covered in spikes. So it could be worse.

Lorne: Yeah. Been here. Done that. Let's hope none of us die this time.

(Pause)

Mary: What did you say that for?

Lorne: I'm being honest.

Mary: You're scaring my little ones.

Lorne: Being. Honest. Here.

Mary: Stop then.

Ronon: Cut it out.

(Lorne looks affronted.)

Taylor: We're not going to die right?

Mary: Right.

Jessie: Right what?

Mary: Right, not going to die.

Taylor: How do you know?

Mary: Because the first person coming to kill us is going to get me angry.

Lorne: Like that will help.

(Mary glares at Lorne.)

(In Atlantis.)

Beckett: Right. We've got Brian and Nate taken care of. Are you sure you don't want a doctor to come along?

Sheppard: (packing more ammo into his vest) Sorry. We need the room for the marines.

Teyla: We are hoping to get them back before they require medical attention.

Elizabeth: Do you want another jumper of marines?

Mitchell: It'd be better with just the one ma'am.

Sheppard: Easier in and out the less people there are.

McKay: I've got a new life signs detector. We're good to go.

Elizabeth: Ok. Go.

Sheppard: Let's get our people.

(Back in the cell)

Taylor: Argh!! That's fifteen now. Why are you so good at this?

Jessie: (shrugging and holding up her hands for another game of Tiddlywinks) Because you aren't.

Lorne: (confused) I still don't understand what they're doing.

Ronon: It's some game they use to pass the time. Apparently Taylor isn't very good at it.

Lorne: So why does she keep playing?

Mary: So that when she finally wins she can rejoice and sing. (Behind her Taylor jumps up and loudly proclaims her glee) Rather like that.

Lorne: Oh. (Long moment of silence as Jessie calms Taylor down and gets her to sit for another game) They certainly do help pass the time.

Mary: Mhmm. They're amusing and fun like that.

(On the Jumper as it comes through the gate on Keden.)

McKay: So, as much as I love the 'charging in, guns blazing with no plan whatsoever' approach, I'm thinking maybe we should get a better plan.

Sheppard: Like what, Rodney?

McKay: I didn't say I had a plan. Just that we need one.

Teyla: We knew this already Rodney. Please do not irritate an already sore issue.

Rodney: (Confused) What?

(Teyla gives a meaningful glance towards Sheppard and the look of complete concentration and worry on his face.)

Teyla: (quietly) I do not ever remember seeing him this worried about anyone. Please do not stress him further; I would hate it if you're unintentional goading of him led him to doing something he might regret.

Mitchell: (also very quietly) She's right you know. I've seen other people with that look on their face before. They get too emotionally involved in what they're doing and make rash decisions.

Teyla: I believe that if anything serious happens to those young women he would not hesitate to kill every Wraith on the ship, even if it meant he died himself.

Rodney: So what are you saying?

Mitchell: Don't make him be the one to come up with the plan, and don't let him out of your sight. Not for an instant.

Rodney: Right. (Silence as Rodney thinks) Okay so here's a thought. We use the marines as a distraction while we find and free our people. We've got the life-signs detector. We'll be able to find them pretty quick and if the marines make a good distraction we should be able to get in and out fairly quickly. How's that sound? (All give him a look of relief)

Sheppard: It sounds like a plan. That's what we'll do then. Teyla, why don't you stay with the marines and help them?

Teyla: (Nods) Of course.

Mitchell: Alright. That's our plan.

(Through the forward view screen the Hive ship is becoming a more prominent feature in their sights.)


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

The Never-Ending Escape Route  
Chapter Seven

(In the cell)

Lorne: I know we can't escape. I'm just saying, they got Jordans, and if they come for us we need a plan.

Ronon: We go invisible and slip past them. (He looks at Taylor) Or through them. Whatever works.

Mary: (considers) Sounds good to me.

Taylor: What about Jessie's ankle.

Jessie: I'll manage.

Mary: Good point. Ronon? Think you can carry her?

Ronon: As long as Lorne here doesn't get himself shot again.

Jessie: I'll be fine. Taylor!

Taylor: What?

Mary: Ooh. Yeah. Let's all try to avoid being shot.

Taylor: (rubbing her freshly poked arm) Jessie would like me to politely remind you all that she is fine and can manage on her own.

Mary: (to Jessie) I heard you. I ignored you. You aren't fine and you'll end up hurting yourself.

Jessie: Will not.

Taylor: Why chance it?

(In the jumper, as it once more lands, cloaked, inside the hive they are beginning to know very very well.)

McKay: They're not in the old cells.

Mitchell: Well, it was a long shot. Can you find them?

McKay: ...looking...

Sheppard: (To the marines) We need you to go with us to their position, but break apart and draw their attention elsewhere. Keep your radios on and when I tell you to get back to the jumper, you run. Understood?

Captain: Yes sir.

McKay: There they are. Oh.

Teyla: Oh?

McKay: Well they're further in, and more heavily guarded than before.

Mitchell: Figures. I assume we're not going for stuns here.

Sheppard: Not really.

Mitchell: Good.

(The door to the jumper opens and they move out.)

(In the cell)

Mary: Ooh. That's a good one. I'd have to go with...Barbossa.

Jessie: Barbossa? Really?

Mary: He's not such a bad guy.

Taylor: Ok. Lorne. Barbossa or Hannibal Lector?

Ronon: Is this from that pirate movie? And who is Hannibal?

Jessie: They're movie characters, and they play villains.

Ronon: Choosing the lesser of two evils huh?

Jessie: ...Yeah. Where'd you hear that?

Ronon: Sheppard.

Jessie: Ah.

Taylor: No. Why on earth would you choose Lector?

Lorne: Hey. He's a badass. What can I say?

Mary: My turn. Umm...ok. Blue or green?

Taylor: Blue.

Jessie: Blue.

Lorne: Green.

Ronon: I hear something...

(Sounds of gunfire and fighting reach the cell)

Taylor: There, you see. I told you they'd be back for us.

Jessie: Mmmm. My apologies for ever doubting your knight in shining armor would return.

(Taylor thwacks her on the head with a muttered 'shut up' and a glance at Lorne and Ronon who don't seem to have heard.)

Lorne: Bit of a record return time. They must not have been in Atlantis for more than half an hour to be back already. (Footsteps reach their ears and they fall silent as a lone Wraith who hasn't been caught in the fighting walks up to the cell door)

Wraith: You think you're friends will save you? They will not. They will be captured before they can even-(shots ring out and the Wraith falls to the ground, bleeding)

Sheppard: That's where you're wrong. (He walks to the cell with Mitchell and McKay behind him. Mitchell fires more shots into the Wraith to make sure it's actually dead) You guys all okay?

Taylor: (Grinning happily) Yeah. Thanks (Jess and Mary roll their eyes but respond in kind)

Sheppard: Lorne? Ronon?

Lorne: Fine, sir. Nice to see you.

Ronon: I'm good. Just get us out of here and give me a weapon so I can kill every Wraith on the ship.

Mitchell: Sorry, big guy. Not part of the plan. This is search and rescue, not search, rescue, and destroy. (Taylor quickly phases all of them through the cell door, Ronon is carrying Jessie cradled in his arms, though she is protesting loudly)

Mary: Jess, hush.

Taylor: Does something like search, rescue, and destroy even exist?

Mitchell: No. That was kind of my point.

Taylor: Oh.

Rodney: Yes, yes. Talk later, run now. Come on. There are more Wraith heading towards us.

Sheppard: Which way is clear. (Rodney consults the new Life-Signs Detector)

Rodney: Back the way we came. (Sheppard grabs Taylor's arm and pulls her along behind him as Mitchell paces with Mary and Rodney sticks between Ronon and Lorne)

Sheppard: (into radio) Teyla! Get back, we've got them!

Teyla: (over radio) That is good, because we were forced to retreat.

Sheppard: Oh. We'll meet back at the jumper.

Teyla: (gunfire) Agreed.

(Sheppard clicks radio off.)

Mitchell: You don't look the worse for the wear.

Mary: Nope.

Mitchell: Kept yourselves busy?

Mary: Yep.

Mitchell: Don't feel like talking?

Mary: Hmm? No, just thinking. How're you doing Jessie?

Jessie: I'm fine and you can Put Me Down Now!

Mary: Look at it this way: you're being carried. By a man. This is not a bad thing.

Jessie: Well, true, but I feel like an idiot.

Taylor: You're an idiot with a twisted ankle.

Jessie: ...Right.

(The group reaches the Jumper, and the marines and Teyla run into sight at the same time.)

Captain: They're right behind us!

Mitchell: Come on. We're leaving!

Teyla: (running in behind the marines) We were successful?

Jessie: (being put down by Ronon on a seat) Hi!

Mary: That's a yes.

Sheppard: Everyone accounted for?

Captain: Yes sir.

Sheppard: Let's get out of here.

(The jumper exits the hive ship and makes a hasty run for the Stargate.)

Teyla: Will not the people of the village be harmed when the Wraith come looking for us?

Mitchell: That's been taken care of. No worries.

Taylor: Hee. No worries.

Jessie: Heehee.

McKay: You all seem rather chipper for being held prisoners on a hive ship.

Taylor: We knew you'd come back for us.

Mary: And we kept ourselves amused as well.

Lorne: Sure did.

Mitchell: How did you do that? That place is creepy as hell.

Mary: Simple things. You'd be surprised how easily simple things work.

Sheppard: Like what?

Mary: Oh, like "Which is better"...

Jessie: ...and Tiddlywinks.

Taylor: You had to bring that up, didn't you?

Jessie: Yep!

Taylor: You don't have to rub it in you know.

Jessie: Actually I do.

Taylor: Mary? Tell her she doesn't have to rub it in.

Mary: Jessie you do not Have to rub it in though, as winner, it is your right. But as your twin it's her right to hit you for it.

Jessie: Oh, it's worth it.

Teyla: What are you talking about?

Ronon: That 'Tiddlywinks' game. Jessie won. Lots.

McKay: Just out of curiosity, how much is 'lots'?

Mary: The ratio of Jessie's wins to Taylor's is around twelve to one.

Taylor: Do YOU have to rub it in too?

Mary: No. But I can. So I do.

Taylor: Can I hit you for it?

Mary: Of course.

(Taylor reaches over and thwacks Mary in the back of the head.)

Jessie: I was doing it first you know.

Taylor: Yeah, but you're twin.

McKay: You let her hit you?

Mary: Should I not let her hit me?

Taylor: Good question...oh look! The gate!

Sheppard: Yep. Rodney, care to dial?

Rodney: Yes, yes. (He dials, the gate activates and they swoosh through, reappearing on the other side.)

Elizabeth: Tell me you have good news, Colonel.

Sheppard: All present and accounted for with minor injuries only. Mission accomplished.

Elizabeth: Good. Crines and Moss are doing well also.

Lorne: Great.

Elizabeth: All of you report to the infirmary. We'll debrief after you've all gotten yourselves checked out.

Sheppard: Understood. (The jumper lands and the back hatch lowers and all file out slowly. Sheppard and Taylor are the last two out and Sheppard grabs Taylor's arm to hold her back for a second.) I didn't have time to ask before, but are you okay?

Taylor: (smiling shyly) Yeah. I'm fine. You?

Sheppard: Good as ever. (They start to walk slowly towards the infirmary)

Taylor: That's good.

Sheppard: Yeah. So...um...I know this girl who happens to have a copy of The Princess Bride and since we never got to finish it and you seem to like it...umm...do you maybe want to come to my room and watch it tomorrow (Taylor blinks in surprise) and dinner of course. I should be able to get some decent food for dinner. Would Mary let you do that?

Taylor: I may let her boss me around for the most part but she doesn't have complete control of me.

Sheppard: Oh. Well, I-

Taylor: (smiling) I would love to do dinner and a movie with you. (They both blush)

Sheppard: Great.

Taylor: Oh. Could we not tell Mary? Like disappear for the night and not show up until lunch the next day and then not tell Mary anything?

Sheppard: I guess. I mean if you want.

Taylor: Great. It's the perfect revenge.

Sheppard: (smiling and chuckling) I'd forgotten you'd sworn revenge on her for pushing you through the Gate.

Taylor: Yeah.

Sheppard: That's fine with me then. (They reach the infirmary and go to sit on beds to wait to be checked out.) Tomorrow then. (He takes a bed near Rodney as she joins Mary and Jessie)

Mary: What's tomorrow?

Taylor: (Grinning evilly) I have a date.

Jessie: (squeals in delight) Ah. That's great. What are you doing?

Taylor: I'm not telling.

Mary: You have to tell.

Taylor: I don't and I'm not.

Jessie: You're not even going to tell me?

Taylor: Sorry nope. You'd just follow us.

Jessie: (indignant) I would not.

Mary: Admit it; it sounds like something you'd do...

Jessie: Hmm. Sort of. But I wouldn't.

Taylor: Still.

Jessie: Fine, just let me know the details, Kay?

Mary: Speaking of details...

Jessie: Oh. Hee. Right. Am I doing it or are you?

Mary: It depends. Are we clear to go, doc?

Beckett: (wandering by reading a chart) Hmm? Oh aye, you're all fine. Off with ye.

Mary: Thanks!

(The girls walk out and wait by the doors of the infirmary.)

Jessie: Well, didn't we decide you should do it?

Mary: If you like. Just so long as it's done.

Taylor: You're not going to hurt him, right? Promise you won't frighten him terribly.

Mary: I wouldn't.

Taylor: Not even a little.

Mary: I promise I won't even use the creepy voice.

Taylor: (relieved) Good.

(Sheppard comes out of the infirmary.)

Sheppard: Well, it seems we're a bit late for the debriefing. Everyone else is there already.

Jessie: I'll race you Taylor!

Mary: Jessie...ankle.

Jessie: Oh, right, no running or skipping.

Taylor: Race you later?

Jessie: Okay.

(They walk toward the council room. After a moment...)

Sheppard: Alright. Why are you two looking at me like that?

Jessie: Like what?

Sheppard: Like I'm...like I'm...oh you know how you're looking. What?

Mary: I'm deciding how I should talk to you after the debriefing.

Jessie: And I'm imagining how it's going to go. (Giggle)

Taylor: (holds hand to her forehead) Guys...

Mary: I'm not frightening him. Look, am I frightening you?

Sheppard: ...No. Not really.

Mary: See Taylor? Not frightening. Nor am I being threatening.

Taylor: (gives Mary 'the look') Really now?

Mary: Okay, not yet. Fair enough?

Taylor: ...Fair.

(Jessie is still giggling.)

Sheppard: (to Taylor) Do I want to know?

Taylor: No. But you will. I apologize in advance.

Sheppard: I don't suppose you can tell me what is going on now?

(But the group reaches the council room. Conversation ceases.)

(All sit with Jessie and Mary placing themselves between Sheppard and

Taylor purposefully as Taylor shakes her head with a slight laugh.)

Elizabeth: Now that we're all here, Colonel Sheppard if you would please?

Sheppard: We arrived on Keden to a warm welcome from the Locals. After questioning many we discovered that Lorne's team had been last seen being taking towards the hill. So that's where we headed.

Ronon: We explored the caves and found a group of locals. They told us that Lorne and his team had been taken away in the darts.

Rodney: I realized that the strange readings we'd been getting meant that they were in a hive ship above the planet.

Mitchell: So we headed back to the Jumper and then up into space towards the ship.

Teyla: Colonel Sheppard cloaked the ship and we landed in the dart bay. We then began to search for Major Lorne.

Sheppard: We kept getting held up by Wraith so we sent Taylor ahead to find them so that we would at least have a basic knowledge of which way to go.

Rodney: She came back and Sheppard had her lead us to Lorne.

Lorne: By the time they got there, the Wraith had already taken Jordans and Crines was in the middle of a mental breakdown.

Crines: Mary managed to calm me down, we headed out.

Ronon: We were eventually surrounded by Wraith so Sheppard had Taylor phase me, Lorne, herself, Jessie and Mary through the nearest wall.

Lorne: I'd been shot by a stunner so I don't remember this part.

Ronon: She tried to go back for the others but Sheppard made her leave.

Sheppard: My group managed to get back to the Jumper.

Ronon: We got captured.

Teyla: We returned as you know and set off again. We got to the hive ship, located them, and left to find them.

Lorne: I eventually woke up and we just spent the time chatting mindlessly.

Sheppard: We got close to the cells and the marines and Teyla split off to be a distraction. We got to the cell, Taylor got everyone out, and we and the marines made a break for it.

Ronon: We got to the jumper, got to the gate, and came back.

Elizabeth: And you encountered no resistance once in the jumper?

Sheppard: None.

Elizabeth: And you weren't followed?

Sheppard: Nope.

Elizabeth: (thinks) I think that covers it well. Sounds like you did a good job. Any other comments you'd like to make? No? Then you can all go get some rest. I know it's late.

(The people disperse, and Taylor pulls Sheppard aside outside the room.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

**The Never-Ending Escape Route  
Chapter Eight**

* * *

Taylor: Right. Umm...

Sheppard: The frightening thing?

Taylor: Yeah. I mean, they mean well. They really do. And to be honest, with some other friends of ours these talks are necessary and-

Mary: (waves to get Taylor's attention) Breathe Taylor.

Jessie: Lack of breathing can cause you to die. (Giggles)

Taylor: (takes a deep breath) I'm probably freaking you out huh? I'll stop now. Just...don't take anything too literally okay?

Sheppard: (quite confused by now) Okay. We are still on for tomorrow right?

Taylor: (smiles) Of course, unless you change your mind.

Sheppard: I won't.

(Taylor walks off and she and Jessie head to the room the three girls will share to sleep. Mary walks over.)

Mary: Hi.

Sheppard: Uh, hi.

Mary: Should we talk somewhere not so open?

Sheppard: Do I need witnesses?

Mary: Nope.

(They walk back into the now deserted council room.)

Sheppard: So, what are we doing here?

Mary: It's this thing that we do. And since Taylor is one of my little ones, it seems fitting that I should give you the talk.

Sheppard: ...Talk?

Mary: Since you're dating her now.

Sheppard: I'm lost, and confused, and it's just one date. Dinner and a movie.  
Mary: Do you not want it to be more?

Sheppard: Well, yeah I do, but-

Mary: So does she.  
Sheppard: Oh.

Mary: Ok, here it goes. I fully approve of you dating Taylor, okay? I have nothing against you. Neither does Jessie. We both like you. Clear so far?

Sheppard: Yeah.

Mary: Good. Now, because you're dating Taylor, I have to tell you a few things. One, she really hates salads. They're far too healthy.

Sheppard: (doing his best to memorize this fact) Right. No salad.

Mary: Two, Jessie and I are going to hear all about the date, but Taylor can keep anything you want private from us, and we won't pry. Good so far?

Sheppard: (relaxing) Yeah. Why was Taylor afraid that you'd scare me?

Mary: Because I also have to say that if you cause her any undue pain, at all, I will be very angry. Very angry.

Sheppard: (uneasy) What do you mean?

Mary: I mean that if she comes to us crying, I'll let Jessie console her while I come looking for you. And I will make you pay for harming her. The least I do will be to have a talk with you about manners.

Sheppard: (swallows nervously) Do I want to know the most?

Mary: Castration.

Sheppard: Uh...right. Got it.

Mary: But I really don't see it coming to that.

Sheppard: O-okay.

Mary: Jessie and I really do want you to have a good time tomorrow ok? And remember, no salads. G'night.

(Mary walks off, leaving Sheppard staring after her.)

(Next morning at breakfast)

Rodney: So what did Mary want with you last night after the meeting anyway Sheppard?

Sheppard: What? Oh, that was the "Talk" I used to get from the dads of girls I dated. (To Ronon) You ever get stuff like that?

Ronon: All the time.

Teyla: Why would you get a talk like that from Mary?

Rodney: (scoffing) He's probably going off on some date with Taylor or Jessie tonight. (Awkward silence as Sheppard averts his eyes to look elsewhere) OH MY GOD!! You are! I can't believe you! Which one are you corrupting? Taylor? Jessie? (When Sheppard says nothing) BOTH?!

Teyla: Rodney, be quiet. Do not attract attention to this.

Ronon: So which one is it?

Teyla: Ronon!

Sheppard: It's Taylor.

Rodney: Huh. Didn't think you went for blondes.

Teyla: (she puts her hand to her head) You are hopeless.

Sheppard: Hey. Look, she's a nice girl ok?

Ronon: So what did she say?

Sheppard: That she'd be more than happy to have dinner and a movie.

Ronon: I meant Mary. The talk.

Sheppard: Oh. The usual I guess.

McKay: Like "Bring her back by eleven"?

Sheppard: Like treat her nice. And she doesn't like salad. And that she'd hurt me if I hurt Taylor.

Teyla: Hmm.

Ronon: (amused) Hurt you how?

Sheppard: (indignant) Nothing I couldn't handle, okay?

McKay: Threats. Boy, they must really like you.

Sheppard: Shut it, Meredith. Mary's just trying to protect Taylor.

Ronon: Are you admitting that she needs to protect Taylor from you?

Sheppard: What? NO!

Rodney: I think you are.

Sheppard: I am not. Why did I tell you guys about this in the first place?

Ronon: You didn't. McKay figured it out.

Teyla: Alright. Enough. Leave him be. I think it's very nice that they can enjoy this time of peace like this. May I ask what you plan on doing?

Sheppard: Dinner and a movie. The Princess Bride.

Rodney: You're watching the Princess Bride? As a date movie?!

Sheppard: It's a good movie, and she likes it.

Teyla: That's what counts. (Ronon and Rodney are snickering and she kicks them both under the table.)

Ronon: Hey!

Rodney: Ow! What was that for?!?

(Teyla gives them a look.)

Rodney: Fine. Hah. I'll bet you're planning to take her out to some apartment no one's using with a pretty view, aren't you?

Sheppard: The thought actually hadn't occurred to me. It's a good idea though. One of few. Thanks Meredith.

Rodney: Of course it-Hey... Stop CALLING me that!!! (Sheppard snickers) Kirk. (Muttered under breath)

Ronon: What are you planning on doing for food?

Sheppard: I have no idea. Preferably real food and no salad.

Teyla: I have noticed that they aren't incredibly particular about what they eat. I am sure that whatever you choose will go over fine.

Sheppard: Thank you, Teyla.

Rodney: Oh. Please. Don't even pretend you wouldn't be sitting here making fun of me to no end if the situation was reversed.

Ronon: He has a point you know.

Rodney: There. You see.

Sheppard: Whatever, Rodney, whatever. (The girls walk in and Sheppard smiles and waves them over)

Rodney: (sighing) much as I'd love to stay, I have things I need to do.

Teyla: Colonel, do not forget that we have stave practice today. Please be there. (She gets up and leaves with Rodney)

Ronon: Finish eating Sheppard. (The girls sit) We're running today.

Sheppard: But-

Ronon: We're running. (Grabs him and drags him away)

Taylor: Well that was odd.

Jessie: No. That was something we would do.

Mary: You know, it kind of was.

(Later that evening)

(Sheppard is leaning against a wall in a more deserted part of the city. He is wearing jeans and a black t-shirt instead of his uniform. He has a picnic basket in one hand and his laptop bag slung over a shoulder. Taylor joins him shortly wearing a skirt and a nice shirt)

Sheppard: Hey. (He stands and smiles in greeting)

Taylor: Hey. Sorry about the clothes. Mary said I should wear a skirt but… I don't like skirts, so it was a bit of an argument that she eventually won.

Sheppard: Ah. No. It's fine. I don't care. I'm a little curious as to where you got the change of clothes, though.

Taylor: Oh. That. Well, I'm not entirely sure myself. Mary and Jess just kind of threw clothes at me when I was getting ready. That's why I'm late.

Sheppard: Ah. Got it. Ready to go?

Taylor: Yep. (She glances at the picnic basket) Is that dinner?

Sheppard: Yep. Come on. (She follows him deeper into the city in a slightly awkward silence)

Taylor: So…um…Where are we going?

Sheppard: (grinning) You don't want Mary to be able to find us right? (She nods) We're going to the least used part of the city. Or at least the most remote part of the city that we know is safe. Meredith told me about it this morning. (He smirks evilly as she gives the expected response)

Taylor: Meredith? Who's Meredith?

Sheppard: Rodney. (She blinks in surprise)

Taylor: Really?

Sheppard: Yep. (She giggles)

Taylor: You know, I had a coach who had us call him Eric who's real name was Miriam. (He looks at her and laughs; the awkwardness fades a way as they start talking about odd names of people they know and some of the more interesting stories that resulted from those names. Eventually they reach their destination. Sheppard opens a door off the hall way and leads her into an apartment of sorts.)

Sheppard: This area of the city has some of the nicer rooms, but it's so far out that for the time being, using them really isn't practical. They're nice though.

Taylor: (glancing around) Yeah. They really are. (She sits at the table he gestures her towards as he drops the laptop on the bed)

Sheppard: I'll set that up later. (He goes to sit across from her at the table and starts pulling things out of the picnic basket)

Taylor: So what are we eating? (He grins at her)

Sheppard: Not salad. (She smiles sheepishly)

Taylor: So that was part of the talk Mary gave you. How bad was it by the way?

Sheppard: Don't worry about it. I've had worse, and I think I would be more worried if she wasn't that protective.

Taylor: (almost to herself) Jessie wanted to follow us you know.

Sheppard: I didn't know. (He hands her a sandwich) It's not much but the cooks are in a mood right now.

Taylor: (looking at it) Turkey? (She laughs) I should have known. (They share a smile and eat, conversing over various topics that include things like flying and life in Atlantis.)

Sheppard: I have a couple of questions before we start the movie.

Taylor: (packing away the food stuffs and drinks while he sets up the laptop so that they can sit on the bed and watch the movie) Oh? I can't promise I have answers but…shoot Sheppard.

Sheppard: Okay, first, why do you keep calling me Sheppard?

Taylor: Jessie and I had this conversation earlier today. I just think it sounds weird for me to be calling you John already is all.

Sheppard: Call me Shep then. Sheppard is too…military.

Taylor: (chuckling softly) Shep it is then. What else?

Sheppard: The three of you seem to be really close and I was wondering…

Taylor: We met in High School. Jess and I were on the Tennis team together. She was my first friend my freshman year. Later, she introduced me to Mary and our other friends. We hit it off immediately. Mary was the oldest of our little group, well, except for Gimpy, but Mary always seemed to be in charge. We kind of decided we were "The Supreme Overlord Clan" and Mary is our Supreme Overlord. Jessie and I just seem to think along the same thought waves on a constant level so they decided that we were twins and the rest is history.

Sheppard: Oh.

Taylor: That was confusing wasn't it?

Sheppard: Yeah. Just a bit.

Taylor: Sorry. Um…Right. Jessie and I are just really close and are as alike and yet different as Identical Twins can be and Mary keeps us from wreaking havoc on the Universe. Does that make more sense?

Sheppard: …Not really. But I guess that just fits your personality.

Taylor: (looking surprised) You know most people don't get that at all. They try to make us make sense, try to make us fit into a box.

Sheppard: I know what you mean. This is Atlantis, though. If ever there was going to be a place outside of the box where people can just be themselves, this is it. That's part of why I like it here. This is ready to go now. (He points towards the Laptop where the main menu for Princess Bride is displayed) I have one other question, but it can wait.

Taylor: (moving to sit next to him on the bed) You sure? You've told me so much about yourself, I feel a little like I'm cheating here.

Sheppard: Nah. It's fine. Later. I like this movie. (The two of them get comfortable, and he hits play and they become absorbed in the movie. Around the time Inigo and Fezzik visit Miracle Max, Taylor slumps sideways onto his shoulder and mumbles softly)

Sheppard: Hey, you alright? (He tilts her slightly to see her face and realizes she's fallen asleep) Still worn out, huh? I don't blame you. (He moves her so she is lying on the bed.) You'll probably be upset about this in the morning; you seem like the kind of person who would be. (He turns the movie off and moves that laptop away before settling himself on the couch.) All the same, you're the lady, I'm the man, and Mary would kill me if this went any other way. Night. (He thinks the lights off and drifts off to sleep himself.)

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note**: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

**The Never-Ending Escape Route  
Chapter Nine**

* * *

(The next morning)

Taylor: You know, you could have stuck me on the couch, I wouldn't have cared. I'm used to sleeping in odd positions in odd places at the Moviefests. (He rolls over with a groan)

Sheppard: I knew you'd be upset.

Taylor: I'm not upset. I'm glad you let me have the bed. I'm just stating a fact.

Sheppard: What time is it?

Taylor: About eleven or I wouldn't be so awake and coherent. I'm not a morning person.

Sheppard: (rolling off the couch) Neither am I.

Taylor: (glancing up at his hair) I can tell. (He reaches up and attempts to calm his hair while looking at her in mild confusion)

Sheppard: Does your hair not get sleep mussed?

Taylor: No, it does, but I fixed it before I woke you up. (She looks at the picnic basket) I don't suppose there's anything to eat for breakfast?

Sheppard: Just dry cereal. I thought you might want to stay out here for the night. (He walks over and tosses her the box of cheerios which she opens and starts munching on)

Taylor: Sorry for falling asleep on you.

Sheppard: (joining her on the bed and stealing handfuls of cheerios when he can) No problem. You were still really tired. I turned the movie off so we can finish it before we head back. (She smirks) What?

Taylor: Mary's gonna kill us both. She really is.

Sheppard: It was worth it.

Taylor: (blushing) Yeah?

Sheppard: Yep. (He leans down and grabs the laptop, powers it up, and clicks his way into the chapter menu. He then picks a chapter close to where they were and starts the movie back up as they eat)

Taylor: (as the credits role) So…Shep?

Sheppard: Yeah, Taylor?

Taylor: Before we go back, last night you said you had one more question. What was it?

Sheppard: It's really not that important. I'm just a little curious as to how you and Jessie and Mary got the powers?

Taylor: (sighing) Believe me when I say that if I knew I'd tell you. I just don't have a clue. I wish I did. I just woke up one day and could phase through things, which I found out completely by accident.

Sheppard: So it was kind of like the X-men then?

Taylor: (giggling) Exactly like that. (She helps him pack up the laptop and food) It is afternoon now, maybe we should go to lunch and act like its breakfast.

Sheppard: You really want to get to her don't you?

Taylor: (shrugging) She pushed me through the 'Gate. Fair is fair.

Sheppard: I'm not sure I see the correspondence but…okay. (They walk back to the main part of the city in silence, but a far more comfortable one than the one they had shared last night.)

Jessie: (running up to them as they enter the mess hall) Taylor, Mary is really mad. Where have you been?

Taylor: I was on a date. She's really mad? Like mad mad? I've never seen her mad. This could be bad. (She turns to look at Sheppard who just shrugs)

Sheppard: Don't worry about it. Go sit. I'll take this (he lifts the picnic basket) back to the cooks and get us breakfast. (He walks away)

Jessie: BREAKFAST?! Taylor it's already past lunch time. Ohhhhh. Mary is going to kill you.

Taylor: Jessie, calm down and sit. (The two of them sit) It'll be fine. Just fine. (Sheppard rejoins them with food for all three, and they talk about random things as others like Rodney and Teyla join them.)

Sheppard: (very suddenly) OWWW!! (All turn to see Mary standing there with the tray she had obviously used to hit him in the head in hand, glaring at both him and Taylor)

Jessie: Uh-oh.

Sheppard: What the-

Mary: (quietly) You. Sit. You. (To Taylor) Would you care to explain where this ... person has kept you all night and all morning?

Taylor: Shep, you okay?

Sheppard: Relatively.

Mary: Taylor, hun, answer please?

Rodney: But you just Hit him!

(Mary glares at him and Rodney falls silent.)

Mary: Sheppard, I'm sorry. Taylor, explain?

Taylor: What exactly is it you want me to explain?

Jessie: She HIT him. Mary Hit somebody. (Hiding behind Taylor)

Mary: (sigh) Would you like to tell me, if not where, then Why you were out until noon?

Taylor: We slept late. We were tired. (Sheppard looks at her horrified) Relax. If she tries to hit you again, I'll phase you through it. (She grabs his hand)

Mary: Not going to hit you again. Jessie, you can stop hiding. It was only a thwack. So, you left on a date and came back for lunch the next day? This is not normal Taylor. You had me terribly worried.

Jessie: She was.

Taylor: Why? It's not like anything was going to happen while he was there to take care of me.

Rodney: I think him "taking care" of you was the part she was worried about.

Teyla: Rodney, you should stay out of this.

Taylor: Meredith. (She glares at him as Sheppard manages a snicker)

Rodney: He told-You told-He-You...You TOLD her?!?!

Sheppard: Well, I-(Mary cuts him off)

Mary: The traipsing about in another galaxy apparently plagued with fun fun horrors and daily deathly doom traps with Mr. Testosterone himself, and not _telling_ me, was the worrying part. If you were to go missing, who do you think would be at fault?

Jessie: Llamas!

Mary: ...the humor isn't working Jessie.

Jessie: But don't llamas fix everything?

Taylor: Jess...Thank you for trying but... (She looks at Mary) We should probably talk this out here and now. I don't understand. Are you mad because I went? Because you were fine with that yesterday. Or are you mad because you don't know what's going on and you don't like that?

Mary: Oh no. I'm fine with you dating him. (Looks at Sheppard) I'm fine with you dating her. I said that yesterday. But I know you were plotting. And plotting followed by lack of presence leads to worry, which leads to brain thoughts, which leads to hitting the military leader of Atlantis in the back of the head - it was more like a thwack - with a food tray.

Jessie: Oooh. You're gonna be in trouble for that.

Mary: I know.

Rodney: Just pray Ronon doesn't find out about that.

Sheppard: He won't know unless you tell him.

Mary: (surprised) You won't tell him?

Taylor: Really? (Also surprised, he looks at her and smiles)

Sheppard: I probably would have reacted the same way for the same reasons in her situation. (Taylor smiles at him)

Taylor: (to Mary) Why couldn't you just say what bothered you in the first place?

Mary: I would have but You Weren't Here! You were off on your date and no one could find you. Until Jessie the twin-sensing-homing-twin that she is got you at breakfast. By the way, how was the date that never ended?

Taylor: (smirking happily) It was great! Really fun!

Sheppard: Well that's good to know.

Mary: Wasn't talking to you Testosterone boy.

Taylor: Hey?

Mary: Nope. Those are the rules. Boyfriends get nicknames, for girl talk uses.

Jessie: That _is_ a rule.

Taylor: Testosterone boy? You can't think of anything better?

(Rodney snickers and Sheppard kicks him.)

Jessie: How about Johnny John?

Mary: Oh Lord No!

Sheppard: What's wrong with my first name?

Taylor: (snorting) For her, it's because it's her brother's name, for Jess and I, it just sounds weird.

Teyla: Most people here don't call you John most of the time either.

Sheppard: Yes, but why?

Jessie: Because it's so plain and you're so...not. (All stare at her)

Taylor: Did you just...

Jessie: What? It's the truth. He flies spaceships.

Mary: (patting Taylor's arm) There there. He flies spaceships. Besides, no jihads in the cafeteria.

Taylor: What's a jihad?

Mary: I'm not telling you again. Every time I say that, you forget. Someone else tell her.

Jessie: Holy war.

Taylor: Right. I knew that.

Rodney: I'm lost.

Mary: That's okay. And normal. And I haven't even had caffeine.

Taylor: Me neither, come to think of it.

Jessie: Me neither!! (smiles brightly)

Mary: Jessie, you Are caffeine.

Jessie: Should I be insulted?

Taylor: No. (Mary sits down across from them, next to Teyla and Rodney)

Rodney: She shouldn't be?

Teyla: What's caffeine?

Sheppard: It's the main ingredient in the coffee.

Teyla: Ah. The... addicting quality?

Taylor: Yep. (She snags food off of Jessie's tray. Jess does nothing.) Right so; Shep definitely needs a better nickname.

Rodney: Kirk. (All females thwack him, Sheppard grins in vindicated joy)

Sheppard: Why can't I just be Shep?

Taylor: Because they like to make things more complicated than that.

Mary: Indeed. Shep would be too easy.

Jessie: Hmm...Butterboy?

Taylor: No.

Mary: Hee. Fatty McButterpants?

Taylor: Heehee. No.

Jessie: Dolphin Man!

Sheppard: Now I'm scared.

Mary: Should be too.

Rodney: Flyboy?

Taylor: (glares at him) Be good or we'll give you one too.

Mary: Hmm...

Taylor: How about-

Mary: You don't get to pick.

Teyla: (interested) Why not? She is dating him.

Mary: It keeps the nicknames from getting too...romantic.

Jessie: Yeah. Oh! How about Marshmallow Man?

Taylor: No.

Mary: The Masked Avenger?

Taylor: No.

Jessie: The Caped Avenger?

Mary: The Trousered Lawyer?

Jessie: The Blue Trout?

Mary: Spike?

Taylor: (pause) Hmm.

Sheppard: Not Spike!

Mary: You don't get a vote.

Taylor: Spike is too...spikey.

Jessie: Bob?

Taylor: I can live with Bob.

(Sheppard cringes.)

Mary: Not Bob. He'd forget to answer to Sheppard.

Jessie: ...Colonel Mustard?

Mary: Professor Plum.

Jessie: Furby-man.

Taylor: That's just mean.

Mary: Oh! I've got it!

Taylor: It had better be good.

Mary: Shep.

Taylor: Shep...I like Shep.

Jessie: Shep. Shep shep. Sheppy sheppy shepshep.

Mary: Shep it is.

Rodney: I don't think I'll ever understand any of you.

Mitchell: (walks up and sits down beside them) I don't think we're supposed to understand them. (he looks at Taylor) So how'd the date go then?

Mary: YOU knew? Why did you know?

Taylor: (looking at Mary) I ran into him while I was on my way to meet Shep and he wouldn't buy my excuses so I had to tell him the truth.

Ronon: (walking up with a tray of food) Aren't you supposed to be the perfect liar?

Taylor: That would be Jessie. I smile a bit when I lie, so does Jess, but she never stops smiling anyway so...I'm the only one who can tell. Though Boss-chan's pretty good at knowing, too.

Mary: Why do you call me that?

Taylor: Because, it's fun. I only do it when I'm laughing (sure enough, Taylor's eyes are sparkling with mirth) so it's a good thing.

Jess: Riiiight.

Teyla: I believe I must agree with Rodney in saying that we'll never understand them.

Shep: I have to agree with Mitchell in saying that I don't think we're supposed to.

Ronon: I think you're all crazy. I have Marines to go beat up. I'll see you at lunch I guess. (He gets up)

Shep: Hey, Ronon. (Ronon turns back to look at him) Why don't you take it easy on the Marines today, huh? (Ronon looks at him waiting for an explanation) They have evaluations tomorrow, if you kill them, we have to get new ones. I don't enjoy breaking in new Marines, Okay?

Ronon: Fine. (He leaves)

(Weir walks over to the group.)

Weir: Good afternoon ladies. I didn't see you at breakfast.

(Taylor blushes)

Mary: Oh, we were just too busy to eat.

Jessie: We were?

(Mary gives her a look.)

Jessie: Oh. Right. I forgot about that.

Elizabeth: (smiles) We're contacting earth now, would you be interested in going back to Earth?

Mitchell: I'd have to say 'yes' on that one.

(Mary looks at Taylor looks at Jessie looks at Mary looks at Jessie looks at Taylor.)

Mary: We should probably go. If only to chat with General Landry.

Jessie: And Walter-san.

(Mary and Jessie share a look with Taylor once more, and get up, following Mitchell and Elizabeth.)

Sheppard: I'll walk with you Taylor.

Taylor: Sure.

Shep: So you're going back to Earth then? (She looks up at him sadly and is met with a matching look)

Taylor: I think I kind of have to. I mean it's bad enough there are unauthorized personnel in the SGC, but out here?

Shep: You'd think it would be the other way around.

Taylor: Yeah... but it won't be for long. I hope. I mean it's not like they can keep me there.

Shep: No?

Taylor: (giving him a reassuring grin) Nah. If they try to keep us there too long, Mary and Jess will help me get back here.

Shep: Really, because Mary doesn't really seem to like me that much.

Taylor: Yes, really. And what on earth would give you the idea that she doesn't like you?

Shep: She hit me with a tray.

Taylor: She does that. Usually not that hard though. You are okay, aren't you?

Shep: I'm fine. So you'll be back then?

Taylor: As soon as humanly possible. I promise. Mary and Jess will get me back here. Even if we have to beat people with trays to do it.

Shep: Why?

Taylor: (smiling) Because here is where I'm happiest, and friends want happiness for each other.

Shep: (looking at her slightly surprised as she realizes what she's said and blushes but manages to keep eye contact) You mean that?

Taylor: Yeah. Don't worry about it.

Shep: No? (They've reached the steps and he lets her walk up them herself, she reaches the top and turns back grinning at him)

Taylor: Wild horses, Shep. Wild horses. (He grins and turns to head back to the cafeteria, knowing she'll come find him before she leaves)

Mary: Now that Taylor's here, what's up?

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note**: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

**The Never-Ending Escape Route  
Chapter Ten**

* * *

(Over the video feed.)

Gen. Landry: Ah. Hello Taylor.

Taylor: Hi!

Gen. Landry: As I was saying, I got a telephone from General O'Neill. It seems that the IOA has gotten word of you ladies and your special gifts. They would be most interested in having nice, long, talks with you when you get back…to study you, as it were.

(Jessie growls)

Mary: Floxnart.

Taylor: Yeah. That's not cool.

Gen. Landry: Personally, I agree, as does General O'Neill. He has decided, with Dr. Weir's okay, that it would be most beneficial for you ladies to remain in the Pegasus Galaxy for the time being, where it seems your gifts are of most use.

Jess: So we aren't going back now?

Landry: No. Mitchell, you come back. General O'Neill says he'll get some stuff together for you ladies and send it through in a few weeks.

Mitchell: I'll be back in about an hour sir, just as soon as I get my stuff together.

Landry: Good. I'll see you then Colonel. (The transmission ends as the 'Gate shuts down)

Taylor: They want to...study us?

Jess: Like...aliens? (They both look horrified and Mary doesn't look much better.)

Mitchell: Hey, now. It's okay. Don't worry about it. I promise you that we aren't going to let them get to you guys, okay?

Elizabeth: You ladies are welcome to stay here for as long as you need to. And you can rest assured that I won't be letting anyone who may be a threat to you on the roster.

Mary: Why would you do that?

Elizabeth: (smiling) Colonel Sheppard's affection for Taylor aside-

Taylor: Is there ANYONE who doesn't know about that yet?

Elizabeth: This is Atlantis. Word travels quickly. We're very close here, and there are many of us here who do care for you already. We take care of our own. Welcome to Atlantis ladies. First thing tomorrow, I'm sure that John and Rodney will have no problem with finding you actual permanent quarters.

(The three young ladies leave the control room)

Taylor: I just can't believe...we're not aliens.

Jessie: Technically no. But you can walk through walls. This is not normal.

Taylor: Yeah, but, still.

Mary: Taylor, you need a distraction.

Taylor: Good luck on that one.

Mary: Oh really? I wonder then...what's a spiky haired gentleman to do when his date can't say "hi"...

Taylor: Tell him what? We're just...living...in Atlantis...now...

Jessie: (pokes Taylor) Race you!

Taylor: Wha?

Mary: Three, Two, One, RUN!

(Jessie takes off at a sprint, and after a millisecond passes Taylor joins her.)

Taylor: Not fair! Cheater!

(Mary giggles and follows them.)

(Elizabeth Weir watches the girls leave the control room from her office, and smiles.)

(In the mess hall...)

Rodney: Where are you off to?

Sheppard: I'm going to go keep an eye on the Marines.

Teyla: Don't you mean you wish to keep an eye on Ronon?

Sheppard: That too. That too. (He gets up and walks out of the Mess.)

Teyla: (looking across the mess) Major Lorne! Good afternoon!

Lorne: Hi!

(He walks over to her and McKay with a tray of food from the table he was going to sit at, when Taylor and Jessie run into the Mess at break-neck speed, and pummel into him.)

Jessie: (breathlessly) I win!

Taylor: (also breathless) Do NOT! You cheated!

Jessie: I poked you is all!

Taylor: My nerves had to recover before I could run!

Lorne: Um, could you get off of me please?

(The two girls realize for the first time that they are in the cafeteria, at lunch time, and are in fact on Lorne and what used to be his lunch.)

Taylor: Oh, oh so sorry.

Jessie: (as Taylor helps her up) Yeah. Didn't see you.

Lorne: (chuckles) That's kinda obvious girls.

Teyla: I thought you girls were leaving for Earth soon?

Jess: Well, we were supposed to but...

Taylor: Apparently some of the outside organizations beyond the SGC want to "study" us. So Jack tipped us off and we're staying here.

Lorne: (cleaning up his lunch that thankfully was just a sandwich and juice so it hadn't made a big mess) Well, that's good. Not that they want to study you but that you're staying here. That's good right?

Taylor: Yep. (Looking around in confusion as Mary walks in)

Rodney: He went to the gym, Blondie.

Taylor: Oh. (Smiling sheepishly and not bothering to ask how he knew who she was looking for) Thanks. (She quickly walks out of the mess and off towards the gym which she eventually finds with only two wrong turns. She activates the door and walks in; ducking quickly to avoid being hit by the marine Ronon had sent flying.)

Ronon: Sorry, kid.

Taylor: S'alright. (She waves happily then walks carefully around to where Shep is leaning against a punching dummy.)

Shep: Heya. So what's the news? When are you heading back?

Taylor: I'm not. They...um...well lets just say Jack doesn't think it's safe for us to go back to Earth for awhile.

Shep: Wait? So you're staying?

Taylor: Yeah.

(He grabs her and pulls her into a hug.)

Shep: Fantastic. (Around them, the marines seem to consider wolf-whistling, and decide against it at the glare from Ronon.) That's great. (He lets her go and smiles at the goofy look on her face.)

Taylor: Yeah. Elizabeth says tomorrow you and Rodney can help us find rooms.

Shep: (smiling) I know just the place.

* * *

**Authors' Note**: And so we come to the end of part two of the Escape Route Series. But not the end of the series itself. There's more to come people, oh yes. (grins mischeviously) Oh yes. Much, much more, just you wait! 

Not The End!


End file.
